Penalties are only the beginning

Title: The Chopping Block
Author: obscuredmemory
Pairings: Ryan Kesler/Andrew Ladd, with mentions of Cam Ward/Andrew Ladd, Joffrey Lupul/Andrew Ladd, Henrik Lundqvist/Pekka Rinne, and probably more, just in passing.
Word Count: 11027
Rating: NC-17
Warnings (Overall Fic): chef!AU, excessive profanity, sexual innuendo, sexual situations.
Summary: They say you should never meet your heroes. Andrew never really cared for 'they'.
Disclaimer: All events herein are figments of my imagination and in no way reflect on the people or events referenced.
Author's Note: I can't promise the /7 is definite, but I am certainly trying. For Arial. <3 Complete list of chefs can be found HERE.


LJ
AO3

Title: The Chopping Block
Author: obscuredmemory
Pairings: Ryan Kesler/Andrew Ladd, with mentions of Cam Ward/Andrew Ladd, Joffrey Lupul/Andrew Ladd, Henrik Lundqvist/Pekka Rinne, and probably more, just in passing.
Word Count: 9249
Rating: NC-17
Warnings (Overall Fic): chef!AU, excessive profanity, sexual innuendo, sexual situations.
Summary: They say you should never meet your heroes. Andrew never really cared for 'they'.
Disclaimer: All events herein are figments of my imagination and in no way reflect on the people or events referenced.
Author's Note: I apparently have taken to writing things quickly and excessively long. I did not fit the blind taste test in this chapter, but it will definitely be in the next! For Arial. <3 Complete list of chefs can be found HERE.

LJ
AO3

Title: The Chopping Block
Author: obscuredmemory
Pairing: Ryan Kesler/Andrew Ladd
Word Count: 7383
Rating: NC-17
Warnings (Overall Fic): chef!AU, excessive profanity, sexual innuendo, sexual situations.
Summary: They say you should never meet your heroes. Andrew never really cared for 'they'.
Disclaimer: All events herein are figments of my imagination and in no way reflect on the people or events referenced.
Author's Note: The fact that this is out so quickly is an accident. For Arial. <3 Complete list of chefs HERE.

LJ
AO3

Title: No, I won't sleep tonight
Author: obscuredmemory
Pairing: Ryan Kesler/Andrew Ladd
Word Count: 8813
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Excessive profanity, sexual innuendo, amusement park!AU.
Summary: There was a line between romantic and creepy, and considering the fact that Ryan had stalked him around his workplace all day, he was definitely toeing that line.
Disclaimer: All events herein are figments of my imagination and in no way reflect on the people or events referenced.
Author's Note: I don't write for a week and then I write 9k of Kesladd in a day and a half. That's healthy. Title from Animal by Neon Trees. This is sort of for Arial but I'm not really sure if she wants it. All rides mentioned in this fic can be found HERE

LJ
AO3

Title: Over My Head
Author: obscuredmemory
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 9187
Pairings: Kevin Bieksa/Ryan Kesler/Dan Hamhuis, Kevin Bieksa/Ryan Kesler, with mentions of Alexander Edler/Chris Tanev, Cory Schneider/Jannik Hansen, Alexander Edler/Chris Tanev/Cory Schneider/Jannik Hansen, Alexander Edler/Chris Tanev/Zack Kassian, and Alexander Edler/Chris Tanev/Cory Schneider/Jannik Hansen/Zack Kassian. Sorry.
Summary: Dan Hamhuis was bored, and if that wasn’t an ill omen, he did not know what was. Then again, maybe he needed to be bored more often.
Warnings: More-than gratuitous profanity, explicit sexual situations (threesome), biting, light spanking, light humiliation, begging, and a little bit of sappiness I guess.
Disclaimer: None of of this true. Unfortunately.
Note: I wish I could explain this but I cannot. This is 80% porn. There is no substance. Enjoy?

"Dan Hamhuis was bored, and if that wasn't an ill omen, he did not know what was."


** Link fixed!

Title: Five Times Alain Vigneault…
Author: obscuredmemory
Word Count: 3802
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: More-than gratuitous profanity, explicit descriptions of sexual situations, boy!kissing, implication of rimming, unintentional coitus interruptus, and general ridiculousness.
Pairings: Kevin Bieksa/Ryan Kesler, Alexandre Burrows/Mason Raymond, Chris Higgins/Maxim Lapierre, Alexander Edler/Keith Ballard, Roberto Luongo/Cory Schneider, and Andrew Alberts/Jannik Hansen (shut up, I don’t know)
Summary: Five times Alain Vigneault walked in on something he never wanted to see, and once he laid down the law.
Disclaimer: None of this is true. Unfortunately.
Note: I don’t know what I was thinking. Was this just an excuse to try my hand at all these pairings? Maybe, but I had fun either way. Please notify me of any mistakes, because it is rather late and I am sick, so my brain is not at its sharpest.

Alain Vigneault was not stupid — he knew what NHLers got up to behind closed and partially-closed doors.