Penalties are only the beginning

Title: Hell Hath No Fury...
Pairing: Olie Kolzig / Alex Ovechkin; Boyd Gordon / Brooks Laich; Matt Pettinger (Matty) / Matt Bradley; Chris Clark / Ben Clymer (mentioned)
Rating: R-ish for a little steaminess at the beginning
Disclaimer: Yeah, totally not real. Very, very not real. Extremely not real. ...fake.
Setting: Buffalo hotel, following last night's loss to the Rangers
Notes: This is quite possibly the strangest, most surreal story I've ever written and I have no excuse other than...yeah, I was annoyed after last night's game. And this is my surreal revenge. We'll see if it worked in about an hour.