Keep Me Close- chapter XXI
Apr. 11th, 2009 10:32 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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2minsforslashingTeam: San Jose Sharks
Pairing: Joe Thornton/Evgeni Nabokov
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Not all in San Jose is sunny as the path to the Stanley Cup proves to be as difficult as ever; falling in love might be the simplest task on this year’s agenda.
Editor: Big thanks once again to![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
sherlockelly, who spends her Friday nights and Saturday mornings helping me with this when she could/should be doing actual work.
Chapter I | Chapter II | Chapter III | Chapter IV | Chapter V | Chapter VI | Chapter VII | Chapter VIII | Chapter IX | Chapter X | Chapter XI | Chapter XII | Chapter XIII | Chapter XIV | Chapter XV | Chapter XVI Part one | Chapter XVI Part two | Chapter XVII part one | Chapter XVII part two | Chapter XVIII | Chapter XVIII | Chapter XIX | Chapter XX
-Chapter XXI-
Shushing him soothingly, Joe took the hand at Evgeni’s face and stroked the soft cheek with his thumb. “Do ya like what we’re doing? This?”
Evgeni clenched his eyes shut and pushed his head into the side of the car as if in denial, but his hips thrust forward, Joe’s hand down there soaking in the body’s warmth though the thin shirt.
“Iya… n-no. Maybe…” he groaned and shook his head listlessly.
“Y-yes.” His voice dropped to a whisper and his lips pursed together in a thin white line. He had admitted it almost shamefully.
And that fact alone made Joe want to help even more. “If you like it, then it’s gonna help.” Because it was not wrong for Evgeni to finally be happy.
Joe felt the vibration of a nervous gulp and words in Evgeni’s throat before the other man forced them out. “D-do you like… what’s happening… h-happening bhetween us?”
“Yes,” Joe whispered, the airy words like a wisp over Evgeni’s pink-tipped ear.
“W-what?” was all Evgeni could utter in return as he relaxed his hold on Joe’s muscles, and fumbled for a second before he threaded his fingers around Joe’s neck in a loose resemblance of a hug.
“I like it too,” Joe admitted quietly, the darkness seeming to lift all around him.
He swelled with happiness when he could feel the other man’s shy grin press into his collarbone.
-----
They stood there quietly for a while, still wrapped up in each other’s arms, their breath swirling together around them, warming Joe’s face in the brisk air. He could still smell the alcohol on Evgeni’s breath, sharp compared to the damp streets of San Jose.
Joe buried his nose into the spot right behind the ear and in the valley that the jaw created, which made Evgeni squirm with excitement. His words puffed hot and sticky over the cool skin. “Yer drunk,” he stated softly.
A gruff chuckle rose deep from within Evgeni’s chest, shuddering against Joe’s own. “No… m-maybe j-jhust a little.”
Regret ebbed into the edges of his brain, but he brushed them away. What they had done was for Evgeni, and he couldn’t really be taken advantage of in this state when he was the one getting the handjob, right? And it was not like he ever told Joe to stop.
If he did, Joe would have. But he didn’t, so Joe didn’t.
He ‘hmm’ed, as his large hands untangled themselves from the wild, dirty blond hair, settling heavily on the man’s strong shoulders, his fingers kneading circles deep into the muscle. “I can’t let ya drive home tonight, Yevs.”
A long, airy whine left Evgeni’s pouting lips, but Joe gripped his shoulders tight, silencing him quickly. “You are drunk,” he restated, releasing a shoulder and waving his cupped hand through the heavy stench as to prove his point. “Come on,” he nudged Evgeni towards the back of his car, shifting as he placed his hand over the handle on the passenger’s side.
The door swung open wide, the smell of stale leather wafting through the air, though not as strong as the alcohol on Evgeni’s breath. The other man nodded slowly, stumbling a little before he made to get into the Mercedes.
Joe was painfully reminded of his raging hard erection when Evgeni’s solid thigh brushed against it. Tensing suddenly, all of the blood in his body rushed to his neglected member. He swooned on the spot, his knees nearly giving out with the violent shiver than ran down to his very bones. His vision cleared enough after a few seconds for him to see Evgeni crawl into the passenger seat. Taking an unsteady step forward, Joe swatted at the car door blindly, satisfied when his hand made contact and when he heard the click of the lock.
He nearly fell over himself as he scrambled to the back of his car, fumbling for the keys in his pocket and popping the trunk open. Scanning the items that were thrown back there haphazardly, his stomach bubbled and hissed in hot delight when he found what he was looking for. He grabbed the raggedy, maroon towel and hobbled to the driver’s seat, careful not to rub the sensitive skin of his dick against the denim of his jeans.
The wide berth of the door’s swing almost nicked Joe down there, and he jerked his hips back alertly, sidestepping the door and flopping onto his seat with a grunt. Glancing over through his lowered lashes, a whimpered sigh of relief ripped from his throat when he saw that the man was already curled up tight, sleeping soundly. He threw the towel over the steering wheel and shut the door with a muted click.
Joe made quick work of his pants, pushing them down to his knees, spread wide apart, as he let his numb fingers leave ice-like trails over the burning hot skin of his inner thighs. He threw his head back at the insufferable teasing he was giving himself, as he tried to make the sensations last as long as possible. His knees tried to spread apart further, but the door dug into his left leg and the console dug into his right, limiting the area for his hands to grope.
The leather stuck to his sticky skin, tearing away audibly when he bucked his hips into his hands, his cock weeping underneath the thin layer of his underwear. Evgeni made a hushed noise from beside him, and dear god that noise sounded like the hoarse moans he was sputtering out earlier.
He could not take his feather light touches any longer. Clawing at the elastic waistband with trembling fingers, he wrenched the material down to join the jeans bunching around his calves.
The cold air rushed to his aching cock, cooling his flushed skin and making Joe’s erratic breathing hitch in his lungs almost painfully. His cock stood proudly erect, quivering minutely with Joe’s fluttering pulse. He looked down at it through hooded eyes, the pleasure wracking his body clouded his mind; he had no idea where to begin.
But then Evgeni made that little sound again, and Joe hurriedly took the thick shaft with both hands. His right nestled in with the wild curls near the base. His left overlapped his other hand just barely, so that the swollen, purple head peaked out from his firm grip.
Joe was blushing all over, the arousal so hot in his veins that he could feel the burn all the way down in his toes. His teeth caught his bottom lip and sucked in the flesh, his tongue hungry for the attention it was receiving earlier from Evgeni. He stretched his legs out, careful of the pedals near his feet, and kept his half-lidded eyes on his hands. His fingers twitched with anticipation and finally, he closed his eyes.
He saw himself on the ice, surrounded by and filled completely with hockey. The cool air nipped at his skin, and it froze the sweat dripping from his weary body. Adrenaline pumped hot blood through him like a wildfire, his ears pounding with the force behind the roar. He saw the hockey stick in his hands and he gripped it carefully at first, testing its weight in his palm. His hold became tighter, his fingers drumming with the rhythm of his heartbeat. He was playing hockey, and it was what he did best.
There was a rustling to his right and the usually exciting image dispersed. Evgeni sniffed and Joe cracked open his eyes. The game could wait for now.
He stared back down at his fists, pumping his cock with short, rapid movements. Burying his bare ass into the leather seat, he forced his hands to be quicker, rougher.
His fingers grazed over the flushed tip in fluid motions, smearing the precome over his shining flesh. It was leaking everywhere by now, gathering under his hands, making their job faster, and running over his knuckles, where the sticky stuff chilled when it pooled on his bare stomach. Dull nails grazed over the throbbing vein at the underside of his dick when he clenched his fingers tighter around himself, desperate for a quick release. The wet sounds he was making filled the car, and Joe rocked in his seat against his fists as he pumped harder.
It was amazing how Evgeni could sleep through all of the noise, as Joe knew that his panting had escalated in number and volume the more vicious his hands tugged. Looking back, Joe’s breath failed to come to him when his entire thoughts were filled with the Russian man.
The way Evgeni’s tongue grazed teasingly over his parted lips. The way he moaned when he came and how he trembled so openly in Joe’s arms after he did.
How his entire insides clamped around his length, every ring of muscle spasmimg and contracting, until every single inch of Joe was surrounded by the sweet heat, buried deep in Evgeni’s body.
Joe’s hands gripped harder, but there was not the same completeness in him when his balls tightened with the familiar feeling of release. His left hand shot out, and he barely had time to grab the ratty towel to smother himself with before his orgasm was ripped from him. He panted heavily as he rocked his hips with each tremor that ripped through him, and he milked the last of the come from his slowly softening penis.
Throwing the soiled rag into the back seat, Joe closed his eyes and fumbled for the recline button at the side of his chair. His eyes were still closed when he pulled up his underwear and jeans to his hips in one motion; he tugged the zipper closed, but his fingers were too tired to bother with dealing with the button. Hands falling gently to his sides, Joe inhaled deeply, calming his frazzled nerves with the oxygen swirling in his chest with each breath he took.
The car reeked of sex. Joe could almost taste himself on his tongue from the heavy scent in the air. But he could just as almost taste Evgeni too.
It was deep and thick and strong. It was words that were not normally used to describe a smell, but also the closest things to describe it. Joe could not compare it to anything, because he had never smelled anything so… confusingly beautiful before. The smell fit Evgeni perfectly.
Exhaustion stopped his thoughts there, and soon Joe was nodding off to sleep.
-----
It was early morning by the time Joe began to stir. The hazy dawn light turned his vision a sea of gold before he could blink the sleep from his eyes. Almost instantly, he jerked his head over to his right, not really sure of what he was expecting to be there.
All he found an empty seat.
An unexplainable weight settled on the entirety of Joe’s body. To twist the metaphorical knife lodged in his gut even more, he propped himself up on his elbow to peer out the side window, just to see if Evgeni’s car was there at least.
It wasn’t.
Flopping onto his back with a groan, Joe covered his face with his hands, a feeling of detachment making him want to go to sleep and forget last night had ever happened. In all truthfulness, Joe had the tiniest sliver of belief that what he and Evgeni were doing was right. Right for the both of them.
He didn’t need to go through the denial anymore. Joe had rejected his thoughts, albeit halfheartedly, and they had only come back to him stronger. He didn’t need denial, but he did want his life to make some sense again. He wanted closure if this never ending cycle was going to continue to wear him down.
A distinct vibrating beat pulled Joe from his thoughts, and it continued even though he willed the message on his phone to magically disappear along with the emotions that seemed to be clinging to him nowadays. The buzz did not listen to him, and continued its happy ring. Rolling his eyes, Joe flopped onto his stomach and swept his arm over the carpeted floor, searching for his phone.
He found it under his chair and he brought it level to his face, his squinting eyes taking a second to adjust to the glare of the screen.
Two new text messages. Wonderful. He needed to check the time, so Joe decided to read them anyway.
The fact that it was 6:34 became rather insignificant when Joe saw who the messages were from. The name in bold, black letters seemed to suck in everything around him.
Nabokov, E.
Joe hesitated briefly before he tapped the screen, allowing the first message to expand. It was short, but the horrified pit in Joe’s stomach seemed to vanish with the two words.
‘Thank you’ –Dec 20, 2008. 2:08 AM
With fingers shaking from disbelief now rather than frustration, Joe scrolled to the next message.
It was just as long, two simple words, but they made the surprised O of Joe’s lips form into a wide smile just the same.
‘Good night’ –Dec 20, 2008. 2:11 AM
-----
The Sharks were back on the ice later that day, a pre-game skate, as the Rangers where coming to the Tank. New York had been playing well as of late, but Joe could not find it within himself to be concerned. Were they number one in the East? Joe couldn’t even remember that.
But it didn’t matter. If the Sharks played their game, Joe knew there was nothing to worry about.
He was one of the last to arrive to the Pavilion. He suited up in a hurry, strapping his helmet on one-handed as he carried his stick in the other, jogging down the hall and out of the locker room.
Skating towards the group clumped together on center ice, Joe dropped to his right knee in a lunge. He leaned forward, his quadriceps burning with the familiar pull of the stretch. Joe offered a friendly ‘good morning’ smile around the circle, until his gaze finally rested upon Evgeni.
Suppressed joy shot through him, and his palms began to stick to his gloves, already moist with a layer of sweat. The urge to do something other than smile at him made Joe’s fingers twitch, but to do what, he did not know.
Evgeni hadn’t seen him yet. The other man had his pads on the ice, his legs tucked beneath his body as he leaned back, further and further until his back was pressed against his calves. Evgeni’s knees inched apart until all Joe could see were the lean legs spread wide enough for someone to fit between them. His breath became strained, but he managed to turn his irregular breathing into a cough, his cheeks flushing with the images of the night before.
His eyes widened mortification, but Evgeni had righted himself at the coughing, and tensed a little when he met Joe’s gaze. Through the cage of his mask, Joe could see the beginnings of a shy smile quirk the sides of his lips. He mouthed a ‘hey,’ or a short greeting like it, and Joe’s anxiety melted away.
“Jeez Joe, you don’t want to hyperextend it, do ya?” Devin’s voice cut into Joe’s thoughts from his right.
He glanced to the younger man, confused, scrunching his brow at the abrupt question aimed towards him.
“Your… your leg, bro.” Devin switched the leg he was stretching himself. “Don’t, like, pop it out of your hip!”
Joe looked down, and grimaced when the pain followed shortly after actually seeing his leg push that far. He eased the knee to the ice and flexed his thigh carefully, satisfied when the muscles ceased their sharp strain. Muttering a “thanks,” Joe glanced up in hopes of catching Evgeni’s eyes again, but the man was already skating away towards his net.
-----
The practice was fast pace; Todd had the team pushing themselves until they were winded, and then he would start a new drill instantly. Out of the corner of his eye, Joe could see Evgeni’s head turned towards him, but the other would snap back to attention when Joe finally had the time to return the glance.
The goaltender was playing absolutely phenomenal. Joe could find no other words to describe it. Each puck shot at him was stopped dead in their tracks, and one could only watch in awe as Evgeni made it look so simple, so unbearably easy.
Joe could not have been happier for his… for Evgeni.
It was during one of the scant water breaks where Patrick glided over to Joe, a triumphant grin spreading over his face. Joe offered a small nod back, as not to spill the Gatorade in the bottle pressed up to his lips. He was clapped in the shoulder, the captain’s smile now larger than ever; Joe gulped down the rest of his drink, set it down, and turned towards the man expectantly.
“I see you two figured things out!” Patrick exclaimed happily, leaning back against the boards and picking up a Gatorade for himself.
He shot a quizzical look back, but nodded all the same, peering over Patrick’s shoulder to see said man talking with the trainer. “Ah, yeah… I think we did… I mean, I think we’re good. We haven’t exactly, you know, talked since yesterday.”
“Good, good—”
“Has he talked with you?” Joe interrupted, shaking off his glove and running a hand through his wavy hair.
Patrick looked over his shoulder briefly as well, before turning back with bright eyes. “Naw, Todd put us to work fast, ya know?”
Chuckling in agreement, Joe ran his tongue over his bottom lip, piecing together the question that he had trouble forming since the beginning of Patrick’s arrival. He scratched behind his ear, his fingers twirling the light strands of hair at the nape of his neck, as he said the words as they came to him. “Yeah… But, ah… I haven’t talked ta you, and… Nabs hasn’t talked ta you… how, ah, did ya know we worked things out?” ‘Well… worked each other up. Same thing.’
“Besides my plan?” he asked, raising a dark eyebrow, a playful smirk on his lips.
Joe wanted to roll his eyes. That rendezvous itself was anything but helpful. But then again, if it never occurred, it could be quite possible that last night would never have happened. So Joe was somewhat grateful in that sense.
“Yeah, ’sides that.”
A deep laugh bubbled from the smaller man’s chest and he had this incredulous look written across his face, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. But Joe was still confused.
“Look at you!” Patrick clarified after a moment of silence between them. “You’re smiling like a complete dweeb!”
It was then that Joe realized how sore his cheeks were. The trace of a smile still lingered on his lips even when he willed himself to look as surprised as he was feeling.
“And have you seen Nabby? It’s… it’s insane! I can’t see how we could lose tonight with you two playing like this—” But he was stopped short when Todd called them back to center ice.
Tapping Joe’s shins with the paddle of his stick, Patrick sent a beaming smile coupled with a wave to Joe and skated towards the coach first.
Joe looked on, puzzled for a few seconds, before he caught sight of Evgeni at the other end of the ice. The unmistakable peace of mind overcame him at the thoughts of finally making things work. He felt his lips twitch, and he could not help the same goofy grin from spreading over his face.
-----
“Hey, hey! Wait up!” Joe caught up to the man heading towards the back door to the parking lot.
“Yeah?” Evgeni turned around, a schooled expression masking his face.
“Hey.”
“H-hey.”
Now that they were finally left to themselves, Joe had no idea what to say.
“You… h-how are you?”
“Ah… I’m good… y-you?”
“Yeah, um, s-same. I’m good.”
“Good.”
“Yeah.”
“…”
“So… i-it’s nice to see you.”
“You too… I’m sorry Iya had to—”
“Oh! No, i-it’s fine.”
“I jhust—”
“No, yeah, I got it, it’s fine.”
“Did you…”
“Get your texts?”
“Yeah.”
“I did.”
“Oh.”
“They were nice.”
“Yeah?”
“They were, yeah… thank you, to you, too, by the way.”
“Oh… well, I’m ghlad.”
“Me too…”
“…”
“…”
“…”
“I-I gotta get going.”
“Y-yeah, same.”
“You know, gotta take my nap—”
“No, of course… I-Iya need to go… too.”
“…”
“So… Iya probably should get ghoing.”
“Yeah, okay.”
“Ah, Iya will see you lhater then, I guess.”
“Yeah, no that sounds great. I’ll see you at the game.”
“… B-bye”
“Seeya, Yevs.”
Evgeni looked back when he heard the name Joe made for him, the first smile blossoming on his once blank face, and chipping away at the awkward conversation until Joe couldn’t care about it anymore. He had a game to prepare for.
-----
It was the waning seconds of the Sharks’ first two man advantage, thanks to the holding and high-sticking calls nearly a minute apart from each other. The Sharks had been peppering Henrik Lundqvist with shots, but none of them seemed as if they would go through. Ten seconds left in the two man advantage, and the score remained tied at zero.
Joe got the puck on his stick and waited for a lane, skating to the open ice. It was reassuring to know that they still had a minute of powerplay once the current one expired. Danny was open at the point, and Joe wrested it across the ice to the defenseman for one last try.
Then again, they could still make use of the two extra men on the ice. Danny got the first goal of the game, four and a half minutes into the first period, five seconds left on one of the two penalties.
Thirty seconds later and on the second half of the powerplay, the Sharks were circling in the Rangers’ zone once more. A pass was deflected behind the net and a scramble brought it to the front. Lundqvist got a pad on it and the puck was sent glove side.
Ryane swooped to the open ice and stick handled his way into a two-nothing score.
But minutes later it was Ryane who lost a battle on the boards when it was four-on-four, giving a Ranger a chance at a breakaway. The New York penalty expired the second the blistering wristshot left the stick. Evgeni was unable to get his pads together quickly enough, as the puck was buried into the back of the net to cut the Sharks’ lead in half.
He redeemed himself with a save soon after poor defensive play in the faceoff.
Eight minutes into the second period proved to be purely dominated by the Sharks. The forecheck was relentless and the time the Rangers were finally able to get control of the puck, Devin chipped it behind the net before it could go offsides. Joe picked it up, looked in front of the net, and fed the captain the pass through the slot for their third goal of the night.
A turnover in the neutral zone proved disastrous, and Evgeni managed to gat a pad on the first quick shot, but was unable to stop the wild rebound before a Ranger did, scoring ten minutes into the second.
But once again, the goaltender redeemed himself with a smart save early in the third, clinching the puck between his elbow and his leg after a turnover on the boards.
The last period seemed to take its toll on the Sharks. Their play became sluggish, and the tilt began to favor New York. But it was then that Evgeni played his best. No puck slipped in through the five-hole, and he gave up no more rebounds. He stopped all of the seventeen shots the Rangers put on goal in the last twenty minutes, and the Sharks came away with the win.
It was Joe who was the first star of the night, with his two assists on the first and third goal. And it was Evgeni with the second star, for his perfect play in the third period.
They stood together, waiting for the roar of the crowd to die down before the two of them would skate out onto the ice and hand out the signed stick to a fan.
Joe looked to the other man, the same smile adorning his face, and nudged the goaltender’s padded shoulder slightly with the back of his glove. Evgeni shifted his head, the shy smile straightening out before he turned towards Joe completely. His cheeks were mottled with pink, and he was breathing heavily through his nose, the adrenaline from the game beginning to die out. But his eyes still sparked with the intensity Joe only saw when he was playing, the raw hunger smoldering inside of him until it was all consuming; that was when Evgeni played his best, and that was when Evgeni was happy.
Joe decided that he liked that look Evgeni wore, and now he was the only one to see the hot passion, without a mask to cover it at all.
“Come over tomorrow?” Joe had to shout over the reverberating cheers of the crowd. The noise pulsed in his ears and throughout his body, making him feel that tingly sensation all over. He was giddy and his chest swelled. It almost hurt to keep the excitement contained within him, locked up for only himself to experience, but feeling as though it were punching at his throat, begging to be let out at the same time.
The crowd was to the point of screaming by now.
“What?” Evgeni’s dark, dilated eyes squinted in confusion, not hearing the words that Joe had said. So he said them again.
“Come ta my place tomorrow.” It was not a question any longer.
The trainer was trying to usher Evgeni off of the bench, but he was preoccupied with staring dumbfounded at Joe. He stumbled on his skates a bit and snapped out of his daze, offering Joe a lingering glance. Before he had to step off the bench and turn around completely, Joe could see his cheeks flush due to more than just the game.
His tongue was caught between his teeth when he tipped his head toward his chest barely, a mere movement in the eyes of a fan, but Joe knew one of Evgeni’s nods when he saw one.
-----
To be continued
-----
That was a bitch to write D: but I think I’m getting my writing mojo back which is so wonderfully awesome!
I HAVE A FEW QUESTIONS FOR EVERYONE. So even if you read the story, but don’t review, that’s all good, I just want a couple one word opinions if that’s all you feel like typing. (I’d like as many views as possible) Because right now I think where I am right now is okay, but that’s because everything is already laid out in my head, not necessarily yours.
1. Patrick is under developed as of now: yes/no
2. Devin is under developed as of now: yes/no
3. Who do you want more of?: Patrick/Devin/both/neither
This would be greatly appreciated if you added your opinions, thanks! And also thanks for reading!
Pairing: Joe Thornton/Evgeni Nabokov
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Not all in San Jose is sunny as the path to the Stanley Cup proves to be as difficult as ever; falling in love might be the simplest task on this year’s agenda.
Editor: Big thanks once again to
sherlockelly, who spends her Friday nights and Saturday mornings helping me with this when she could/should be doing actual work. Chapter I | Chapter II | Chapter III | Chapter IV | Chapter V | Chapter VI | Chapter VII | Chapter VIII | Chapter IX | Chapter X | Chapter XI | Chapter XII | Chapter XIII | Chapter XIV | Chapter XV | Chapter XVI Part one | Chapter XVI Part two | Chapter XVII part one | Chapter XVII part two | Chapter XVIII | Chapter XVIII | Chapter XIX | Chapter XX
-Chapter XXI-
Shushing him soothingly, Joe took the hand at Evgeni’s face and stroked the soft cheek with his thumb. “Do ya like what we’re doing? This?”
Evgeni clenched his eyes shut and pushed his head into the side of the car as if in denial, but his hips thrust forward, Joe’s hand down there soaking in the body’s warmth though the thin shirt.
“Iya… n-no. Maybe…” he groaned and shook his head listlessly.
“Y-yes.” His voice dropped to a whisper and his lips pursed together in a thin white line. He had admitted it almost shamefully.
And that fact alone made Joe want to help even more. “If you like it, then it’s gonna help.” Because it was not wrong for Evgeni to finally be happy.
Joe felt the vibration of a nervous gulp and words in Evgeni’s throat before the other man forced them out. “D-do you like… what’s happening… h-happening bhetween us?”
“Yes,” Joe whispered, the airy words like a wisp over Evgeni’s pink-tipped ear.
“W-what?” was all Evgeni could utter in return as he relaxed his hold on Joe’s muscles, and fumbled for a second before he threaded his fingers around Joe’s neck in a loose resemblance of a hug.
“I like it too,” Joe admitted quietly, the darkness seeming to lift all around him.
He swelled with happiness when he could feel the other man’s shy grin press into his collarbone.
-----
They stood there quietly for a while, still wrapped up in each other’s arms, their breath swirling together around them, warming Joe’s face in the brisk air. He could still smell the alcohol on Evgeni’s breath, sharp compared to the damp streets of San Jose.
Joe buried his nose into the spot right behind the ear and in the valley that the jaw created, which made Evgeni squirm with excitement. His words puffed hot and sticky over the cool skin. “Yer drunk,” he stated softly.
A gruff chuckle rose deep from within Evgeni’s chest, shuddering against Joe’s own. “No… m-maybe j-jhust a little.”
Regret ebbed into the edges of his brain, but he brushed them away. What they had done was for Evgeni, and he couldn’t really be taken advantage of in this state when he was the one getting the handjob, right? And it was not like he ever told Joe to stop.
If he did, Joe would have. But he didn’t, so Joe didn’t.
He ‘hmm’ed, as his large hands untangled themselves from the wild, dirty blond hair, settling heavily on the man’s strong shoulders, his fingers kneading circles deep into the muscle. “I can’t let ya drive home tonight, Yevs.”
A long, airy whine left Evgeni’s pouting lips, but Joe gripped his shoulders tight, silencing him quickly. “You are drunk,” he restated, releasing a shoulder and waving his cupped hand through the heavy stench as to prove his point. “Come on,” he nudged Evgeni towards the back of his car, shifting as he placed his hand over the handle on the passenger’s side.
The door swung open wide, the smell of stale leather wafting through the air, though not as strong as the alcohol on Evgeni’s breath. The other man nodded slowly, stumbling a little before he made to get into the Mercedes.
Joe was painfully reminded of his raging hard erection when Evgeni’s solid thigh brushed against it. Tensing suddenly, all of the blood in his body rushed to his neglected member. He swooned on the spot, his knees nearly giving out with the violent shiver than ran down to his very bones. His vision cleared enough after a few seconds for him to see Evgeni crawl into the passenger seat. Taking an unsteady step forward, Joe swatted at the car door blindly, satisfied when his hand made contact and when he heard the click of the lock.
He nearly fell over himself as he scrambled to the back of his car, fumbling for the keys in his pocket and popping the trunk open. Scanning the items that were thrown back there haphazardly, his stomach bubbled and hissed in hot delight when he found what he was looking for. He grabbed the raggedy, maroon towel and hobbled to the driver’s seat, careful not to rub the sensitive skin of his dick against the denim of his jeans.
The wide berth of the door’s swing almost nicked Joe down there, and he jerked his hips back alertly, sidestepping the door and flopping onto his seat with a grunt. Glancing over through his lowered lashes, a whimpered sigh of relief ripped from his throat when he saw that the man was already curled up tight, sleeping soundly. He threw the towel over the steering wheel and shut the door with a muted click.
Joe made quick work of his pants, pushing them down to his knees, spread wide apart, as he let his numb fingers leave ice-like trails over the burning hot skin of his inner thighs. He threw his head back at the insufferable teasing he was giving himself, as he tried to make the sensations last as long as possible. His knees tried to spread apart further, but the door dug into his left leg and the console dug into his right, limiting the area for his hands to grope.
The leather stuck to his sticky skin, tearing away audibly when he bucked his hips into his hands, his cock weeping underneath the thin layer of his underwear. Evgeni made a hushed noise from beside him, and dear god that noise sounded like the hoarse moans he was sputtering out earlier.
He could not take his feather light touches any longer. Clawing at the elastic waistband with trembling fingers, he wrenched the material down to join the jeans bunching around his calves.
The cold air rushed to his aching cock, cooling his flushed skin and making Joe’s erratic breathing hitch in his lungs almost painfully. His cock stood proudly erect, quivering minutely with Joe’s fluttering pulse. He looked down at it through hooded eyes, the pleasure wracking his body clouded his mind; he had no idea where to begin.
But then Evgeni made that little sound again, and Joe hurriedly took the thick shaft with both hands. His right nestled in with the wild curls near the base. His left overlapped his other hand just barely, so that the swollen, purple head peaked out from his firm grip.
Joe was blushing all over, the arousal so hot in his veins that he could feel the burn all the way down in his toes. His teeth caught his bottom lip and sucked in the flesh, his tongue hungry for the attention it was receiving earlier from Evgeni. He stretched his legs out, careful of the pedals near his feet, and kept his half-lidded eyes on his hands. His fingers twitched with anticipation and finally, he closed his eyes.
He saw himself on the ice, surrounded by and filled completely with hockey. The cool air nipped at his skin, and it froze the sweat dripping from his weary body. Adrenaline pumped hot blood through him like a wildfire, his ears pounding with the force behind the roar. He saw the hockey stick in his hands and he gripped it carefully at first, testing its weight in his palm. His hold became tighter, his fingers drumming with the rhythm of his heartbeat. He was playing hockey, and it was what he did best.
There was a rustling to his right and the usually exciting image dispersed. Evgeni sniffed and Joe cracked open his eyes. The game could wait for now.
He stared back down at his fists, pumping his cock with short, rapid movements. Burying his bare ass into the leather seat, he forced his hands to be quicker, rougher.
His fingers grazed over the flushed tip in fluid motions, smearing the precome over his shining flesh. It was leaking everywhere by now, gathering under his hands, making their job faster, and running over his knuckles, where the sticky stuff chilled when it pooled on his bare stomach. Dull nails grazed over the throbbing vein at the underside of his dick when he clenched his fingers tighter around himself, desperate for a quick release. The wet sounds he was making filled the car, and Joe rocked in his seat against his fists as he pumped harder.
It was amazing how Evgeni could sleep through all of the noise, as Joe knew that his panting had escalated in number and volume the more vicious his hands tugged. Looking back, Joe’s breath failed to come to him when his entire thoughts were filled with the Russian man.
The way Evgeni’s tongue grazed teasingly over his parted lips. The way he moaned when he came and how he trembled so openly in Joe’s arms after he did.
How his entire insides clamped around his length, every ring of muscle spasmimg and contracting, until every single inch of Joe was surrounded by the sweet heat, buried deep in Evgeni’s body.
Joe’s hands gripped harder, but there was not the same completeness in him when his balls tightened with the familiar feeling of release. His left hand shot out, and he barely had time to grab the ratty towel to smother himself with before his orgasm was ripped from him. He panted heavily as he rocked his hips with each tremor that ripped through him, and he milked the last of the come from his slowly softening penis.
Throwing the soiled rag into the back seat, Joe closed his eyes and fumbled for the recline button at the side of his chair. His eyes were still closed when he pulled up his underwear and jeans to his hips in one motion; he tugged the zipper closed, but his fingers were too tired to bother with dealing with the button. Hands falling gently to his sides, Joe inhaled deeply, calming his frazzled nerves with the oxygen swirling in his chest with each breath he took.
The car reeked of sex. Joe could almost taste himself on his tongue from the heavy scent in the air. But he could just as almost taste Evgeni too.
It was deep and thick and strong. It was words that were not normally used to describe a smell, but also the closest things to describe it. Joe could not compare it to anything, because he had never smelled anything so… confusingly beautiful before. The smell fit Evgeni perfectly.
Exhaustion stopped his thoughts there, and soon Joe was nodding off to sleep.
-----
It was early morning by the time Joe began to stir. The hazy dawn light turned his vision a sea of gold before he could blink the sleep from his eyes. Almost instantly, he jerked his head over to his right, not really sure of what he was expecting to be there.
All he found an empty seat.
An unexplainable weight settled on the entirety of Joe’s body. To twist the metaphorical knife lodged in his gut even more, he propped himself up on his elbow to peer out the side window, just to see if Evgeni’s car was there at least.
It wasn’t.
Flopping onto his back with a groan, Joe covered his face with his hands, a feeling of detachment making him want to go to sleep and forget last night had ever happened. In all truthfulness, Joe had the tiniest sliver of belief that what he and Evgeni were doing was right. Right for the both of them.
He didn’t need to go through the denial anymore. Joe had rejected his thoughts, albeit halfheartedly, and they had only come back to him stronger. He didn’t need denial, but he did want his life to make some sense again. He wanted closure if this never ending cycle was going to continue to wear him down.
A distinct vibrating beat pulled Joe from his thoughts, and it continued even though he willed the message on his phone to magically disappear along with the emotions that seemed to be clinging to him nowadays. The buzz did not listen to him, and continued its happy ring. Rolling his eyes, Joe flopped onto his stomach and swept his arm over the carpeted floor, searching for his phone.
He found it under his chair and he brought it level to his face, his squinting eyes taking a second to adjust to the glare of the screen.
Two new text messages. Wonderful. He needed to check the time, so Joe decided to read them anyway.
The fact that it was 6:34 became rather insignificant when Joe saw who the messages were from. The name in bold, black letters seemed to suck in everything around him.
Nabokov, E.
Joe hesitated briefly before he tapped the screen, allowing the first message to expand. It was short, but the horrified pit in Joe’s stomach seemed to vanish with the two words.
‘Thank you’ –Dec 20, 2008. 2:08 AM
With fingers shaking from disbelief now rather than frustration, Joe scrolled to the next message.
It was just as long, two simple words, but they made the surprised O of Joe’s lips form into a wide smile just the same.
‘Good night’ –Dec 20, 2008. 2:11 AM
-----
The Sharks were back on the ice later that day, a pre-game skate, as the Rangers where coming to the Tank. New York had been playing well as of late, but Joe could not find it within himself to be concerned. Were they number one in the East? Joe couldn’t even remember that.
But it didn’t matter. If the Sharks played their game, Joe knew there was nothing to worry about.
He was one of the last to arrive to the Pavilion. He suited up in a hurry, strapping his helmet on one-handed as he carried his stick in the other, jogging down the hall and out of the locker room.
Skating towards the group clumped together on center ice, Joe dropped to his right knee in a lunge. He leaned forward, his quadriceps burning with the familiar pull of the stretch. Joe offered a friendly ‘good morning’ smile around the circle, until his gaze finally rested upon Evgeni.
Suppressed joy shot through him, and his palms began to stick to his gloves, already moist with a layer of sweat. The urge to do something other than smile at him made Joe’s fingers twitch, but to do what, he did not know.
Evgeni hadn’t seen him yet. The other man had his pads on the ice, his legs tucked beneath his body as he leaned back, further and further until his back was pressed against his calves. Evgeni’s knees inched apart until all Joe could see were the lean legs spread wide enough for someone to fit between them. His breath became strained, but he managed to turn his irregular breathing into a cough, his cheeks flushing with the images of the night before.
His eyes widened mortification, but Evgeni had righted himself at the coughing, and tensed a little when he met Joe’s gaze. Through the cage of his mask, Joe could see the beginnings of a shy smile quirk the sides of his lips. He mouthed a ‘hey,’ or a short greeting like it, and Joe’s anxiety melted away.
“Jeez Joe, you don’t want to hyperextend it, do ya?” Devin’s voice cut into Joe’s thoughts from his right.
He glanced to the younger man, confused, scrunching his brow at the abrupt question aimed towards him.
“Your… your leg, bro.” Devin switched the leg he was stretching himself. “Don’t, like, pop it out of your hip!”
Joe looked down, and grimaced when the pain followed shortly after actually seeing his leg push that far. He eased the knee to the ice and flexed his thigh carefully, satisfied when the muscles ceased their sharp strain. Muttering a “thanks,” Joe glanced up in hopes of catching Evgeni’s eyes again, but the man was already skating away towards his net.
-----
The practice was fast pace; Todd had the team pushing themselves until they were winded, and then he would start a new drill instantly. Out of the corner of his eye, Joe could see Evgeni’s head turned towards him, but the other would snap back to attention when Joe finally had the time to return the glance.
The goaltender was playing absolutely phenomenal. Joe could find no other words to describe it. Each puck shot at him was stopped dead in their tracks, and one could only watch in awe as Evgeni made it look so simple, so unbearably easy.
Joe could not have been happier for his… for Evgeni.
It was during one of the scant water breaks where Patrick glided over to Joe, a triumphant grin spreading over his face. Joe offered a small nod back, as not to spill the Gatorade in the bottle pressed up to his lips. He was clapped in the shoulder, the captain’s smile now larger than ever; Joe gulped down the rest of his drink, set it down, and turned towards the man expectantly.
“I see you two figured things out!” Patrick exclaimed happily, leaning back against the boards and picking up a Gatorade for himself.
He shot a quizzical look back, but nodded all the same, peering over Patrick’s shoulder to see said man talking with the trainer. “Ah, yeah… I think we did… I mean, I think we’re good. We haven’t exactly, you know, talked since yesterday.”
“Good, good—”
“Has he talked with you?” Joe interrupted, shaking off his glove and running a hand through his wavy hair.
Patrick looked over his shoulder briefly as well, before turning back with bright eyes. “Naw, Todd put us to work fast, ya know?”
Chuckling in agreement, Joe ran his tongue over his bottom lip, piecing together the question that he had trouble forming since the beginning of Patrick’s arrival. He scratched behind his ear, his fingers twirling the light strands of hair at the nape of his neck, as he said the words as they came to him. “Yeah… But, ah… I haven’t talked ta you, and… Nabs hasn’t talked ta you… how, ah, did ya know we worked things out?” ‘Well… worked each other up. Same thing.’
“Besides my plan?” he asked, raising a dark eyebrow, a playful smirk on his lips.
Joe wanted to roll his eyes. That rendezvous itself was anything but helpful. But then again, if it never occurred, it could be quite possible that last night would never have happened. So Joe was somewhat grateful in that sense.
“Yeah, ’sides that.”
A deep laugh bubbled from the smaller man’s chest and he had this incredulous look written across his face, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. But Joe was still confused.
“Look at you!” Patrick clarified after a moment of silence between them. “You’re smiling like a complete dweeb!”
It was then that Joe realized how sore his cheeks were. The trace of a smile still lingered on his lips even when he willed himself to look as surprised as he was feeling.
“And have you seen Nabby? It’s… it’s insane! I can’t see how we could lose tonight with you two playing like this—” But he was stopped short when Todd called them back to center ice.
Tapping Joe’s shins with the paddle of his stick, Patrick sent a beaming smile coupled with a wave to Joe and skated towards the coach first.
Joe looked on, puzzled for a few seconds, before he caught sight of Evgeni at the other end of the ice. The unmistakable peace of mind overcame him at the thoughts of finally making things work. He felt his lips twitch, and he could not help the same goofy grin from spreading over his face.
-----
“Hey, hey! Wait up!” Joe caught up to the man heading towards the back door to the parking lot.
“Yeah?” Evgeni turned around, a schooled expression masking his face.
“Hey.”
“H-hey.”
Now that they were finally left to themselves, Joe had no idea what to say.
“You… h-how are you?”
“Ah… I’m good… y-you?”
“Yeah, um, s-same. I’m good.”
“Good.”
“Yeah.”
“…”
“So… i-it’s nice to see you.”
“You too… I’m sorry Iya had to—”
“Oh! No, i-it’s fine.”
“I jhust—”
“No, yeah, I got it, it’s fine.”
“Did you…”
“Get your texts?”
“Yeah.”
“I did.”
“Oh.”
“They were nice.”
“Yeah?”
“They were, yeah… thank you, to you, too, by the way.”
“Oh… well, I’m ghlad.”
“Me too…”
“…”
“…”
“…”
“I-I gotta get going.”
“Y-yeah, same.”
“You know, gotta take my nap—”
“No, of course… I-Iya need to go… too.”
“…”
“So… Iya probably should get ghoing.”
“Yeah, okay.”
“Ah, Iya will see you lhater then, I guess.”
“Yeah, no that sounds great. I’ll see you at the game.”
“… B-bye”
“Seeya, Yevs.”
Evgeni looked back when he heard the name Joe made for him, the first smile blossoming on his once blank face, and chipping away at the awkward conversation until Joe couldn’t care about it anymore. He had a game to prepare for.
-----
It was the waning seconds of the Sharks’ first two man advantage, thanks to the holding and high-sticking calls nearly a minute apart from each other. The Sharks had been peppering Henrik Lundqvist with shots, but none of them seemed as if they would go through. Ten seconds left in the two man advantage, and the score remained tied at zero.
Joe got the puck on his stick and waited for a lane, skating to the open ice. It was reassuring to know that they still had a minute of powerplay once the current one expired. Danny was open at the point, and Joe wrested it across the ice to the defenseman for one last try.
Then again, they could still make use of the two extra men on the ice. Danny got the first goal of the game, four and a half minutes into the first period, five seconds left on one of the two penalties.
Thirty seconds later and on the second half of the powerplay, the Sharks were circling in the Rangers’ zone once more. A pass was deflected behind the net and a scramble brought it to the front. Lundqvist got a pad on it and the puck was sent glove side.
Ryane swooped to the open ice and stick handled his way into a two-nothing score.
But minutes later it was Ryane who lost a battle on the boards when it was four-on-four, giving a Ranger a chance at a breakaway. The New York penalty expired the second the blistering wristshot left the stick. Evgeni was unable to get his pads together quickly enough, as the puck was buried into the back of the net to cut the Sharks’ lead in half.
He redeemed himself with a save soon after poor defensive play in the faceoff.
Eight minutes into the second period proved to be purely dominated by the Sharks. The forecheck was relentless and the time the Rangers were finally able to get control of the puck, Devin chipped it behind the net before it could go offsides. Joe picked it up, looked in front of the net, and fed the captain the pass through the slot for their third goal of the night.
A turnover in the neutral zone proved disastrous, and Evgeni managed to gat a pad on the first quick shot, but was unable to stop the wild rebound before a Ranger did, scoring ten minutes into the second.
But once again, the goaltender redeemed himself with a smart save early in the third, clinching the puck between his elbow and his leg after a turnover on the boards.
The last period seemed to take its toll on the Sharks. Their play became sluggish, and the tilt began to favor New York. But it was then that Evgeni played his best. No puck slipped in through the five-hole, and he gave up no more rebounds. He stopped all of the seventeen shots the Rangers put on goal in the last twenty minutes, and the Sharks came away with the win.
It was Joe who was the first star of the night, with his two assists on the first and third goal. And it was Evgeni with the second star, for his perfect play in the third period.
They stood together, waiting for the roar of the crowd to die down before the two of them would skate out onto the ice and hand out the signed stick to a fan.
Joe looked to the other man, the same smile adorning his face, and nudged the goaltender’s padded shoulder slightly with the back of his glove. Evgeni shifted his head, the shy smile straightening out before he turned towards Joe completely. His cheeks were mottled with pink, and he was breathing heavily through his nose, the adrenaline from the game beginning to die out. But his eyes still sparked with the intensity Joe only saw when he was playing, the raw hunger smoldering inside of him until it was all consuming; that was when Evgeni played his best, and that was when Evgeni was happy.
Joe decided that he liked that look Evgeni wore, and now he was the only one to see the hot passion, without a mask to cover it at all.
“Come over tomorrow?” Joe had to shout over the reverberating cheers of the crowd. The noise pulsed in his ears and throughout his body, making him feel that tingly sensation all over. He was giddy and his chest swelled. It almost hurt to keep the excitement contained within him, locked up for only himself to experience, but feeling as though it were punching at his throat, begging to be let out at the same time.
The crowd was to the point of screaming by now.
“What?” Evgeni’s dark, dilated eyes squinted in confusion, not hearing the words that Joe had said. So he said them again.
“Come ta my place tomorrow.” It was not a question any longer.
The trainer was trying to usher Evgeni off of the bench, but he was preoccupied with staring dumbfounded at Joe. He stumbled on his skates a bit and snapped out of his daze, offering Joe a lingering glance. Before he had to step off the bench and turn around completely, Joe could see his cheeks flush due to more than just the game.
His tongue was caught between his teeth when he tipped his head toward his chest barely, a mere movement in the eyes of a fan, but Joe knew one of Evgeni’s nods when he saw one.
-----
To be continued
-----
That was a bitch to write D: but I think I’m getting my writing mojo back which is so wonderfully awesome!
I HAVE A FEW QUESTIONS FOR EVERYONE. So even if you read the story, but don’t review, that’s all good, I just want a couple one word opinions if that’s all you feel like typing. (I’d like as many views as possible) Because right now I think where I am right now is okay, but that’s because everything is already laid out in my head, not necessarily yours.
1. Patrick is under developed as of now: yes/no
2. Devin is under developed as of now: yes/no
3. Who do you want more of?: Patrick/Devin/both/neither
This would be greatly appreciated if you added your opinions, thanks! And also thanks for reading!
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Date: 2009-04-11 09:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-11 09:50 pm (UTC)Hope you like it!
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Date: 2009-04-12 12:21 am (UTC)Wanna do my work for me?
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Date: 2009-04-12 08:39 pm (UTC)And you're already done.
Party!
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Date: 2009-04-12 12:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-12 08:37 pm (UTC)Thank you! And I love first time reviewers ;)
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Date: 2009-04-12 01:47 am (UTC)as for character development, i think devin is the more underdeveloped of the two, but probably my favorite image of this whole series was drooly!devin on the plane. so MOAR DROOLY!DEVIN PLS.
AND, i'm not a creeper i swear, but i just saw the nabby plushie you made at your journal and i kind of want to be your bff. genius! please tell me you're an art student because that's talent!
okay, i'm done, i promise! ♥
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Date: 2009-04-13 02:52 am (UTC)And thanks for your ideas for my questions, very helpful! Devin will have a bigger part soon, I promise :)
You saw plushie!nabby?? That's not creepy, pretty flattering actually! And to sound as stalkerish as possible, I sleep with him every night ;D and no art school as of yet, just high school so far, but maybe some day!
I enjoy long/rambly comments, because I like to send them back :D so thank you for reading this and the review!
Hope to see you next chapter ;)
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Date: 2009-10-30 08:21 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2009-04-12 02:27 am (UTC)Anyways, it's always so cool to see one of your updates. I don't think Patrick is underdeveloped, but I'd like to see more of Dev just because he's so dork. :D But in general you seem to give your supporting cast the appropriate amount of attention! I loved it!
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Date: 2009-04-13 02:23 am (UTC)And don't worry, there will be more of both! But I'm glad that so far they are fitting in the to story's plot :)
Thanks for the review once again!
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Date: 2009-04-12 02:36 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-12 08:38 pm (UTC)As for messing it up?... You'll have to wait and see ;) Thanks for the review as always!
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Date: 2009-04-12 03:52 am (UTC)I love the chemistry in this fic and once again, it was freakin amazing like always.
i am curious though...how are those fics that I gave are going.
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Date: 2009-04-12 05:10 am (UTC)I've been able to read through one of them, but I've been swamped with work, so with the weekend I finally have time to finish them!
Thanks for the review!
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2009-04-12 04:54 am (UTC)I also particularly liked how Nabby was described in this chapter. The shy smile behind the mask, especially - I found it really easy to see.
Patrick could go either way in terms of development (I remember there was more of him in the first couple of chapters but it's nice to see him back now) but I thought you solidified Devin's character quite well in the chapter on the plane, especially - he's just that kind of character, easily defined almost as a vocal relief and without need of anything further. That being said I'd love to see more of both of them.
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Date: 2009-04-13 02:28 am (UTC)But let's say that Devin will have a large part soon, and Patty will have a large part soon, so they will be more important in later chapters. But since they're just on the down low right now, I'm glad you think they are developed enough for their role.
Thanks for the review!
P.S. Are you going to write more soon? :O
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Date: 2009-04-12 07:14 am (UTC)Also, its flipping hot! HOT I SAY!
I love that they are awkward with each other until FINALLY, and quite obviously, its the hockey that eases them. They play better when they're happy and I love them for it!
And the end, I already told you, but GIRL BONER! EVEN THOUGH NOTHING EVEN WAS HAPPENING! HE WAS JUST INVITING HIM OVER! I just love the little nod of Nabby's and how Joe KNOWS.
As per your questions:
1) As of now. MORE PATTY!
2) As of now. MORE DEVIN! OMG PLEASE MORE DEVIN!
3) Devin. And Patty. But mostly Devin.
Also, another noted thing: you've stopped going to Evgeni's point of view. :( He needs more inner thoughts! I love Joe, but he's not substitute. More from Nabby's POV soon, I hope?
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Date: 2009-04-12 07:22 am (UTC)I LIKE HOT. SO THANKS.
XD That's really awesome actually. Just the thought of the two of them, on good terms... yum.
I will take your thoughts into consideration! As I always do ;)
And like I said earlier, I'll switch up POV again soon, it's just the story is mainly from Joe's POV, and only insight towards Evgeni when it's pretty important. I'll change it as soon as possible! Not in the next two... maybe the chapter after them? I'll see what I can do! It'll be fun
Thanks for letting me force you into reviewing, love! <3
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Date: 2009-04-13 01:13 am (UTC)#2--> No
#3--> Yes =D
Keep writing, it's amazing =)
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Date: 2009-04-13 11:56 pm (UTC)And I shall ;) More of these boys are on the way soon
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Date: 2009-04-13 02:22 am (UTC)Okay, so lets see if I still remember how to review, haha.
So...the first part! Wow! Your details as usual were amazing in setting this scene. I've said it a million times before but I'll say it again: you really give a sense of every last little thing that is happening in what you are trying to portray, every sense, and it's such a talent you have. I think the way you write Joe's thoughts in this part, with such vivid recollections of how Evgeni felt, etc. and such *ahem* wonderfully graphic descriptions of everything, from feeling to appearance to smell (although I have no sense of smell, haha. Not fair.) is very clear and realistic. Like, ah, I don't even know how to say it. Every little thing you write is just so possible, if that makes any sense whatsoever.
Joe's reaction to waking up after the night and Evgeni's text messages: also well-written. Loved the slight sense of resolution there.
The pre-game skate, with the stretching--I loved this part. It made me laugh as well as say 'wow, that was really clever and well-written', because seriously, that's so adorable Joe, and you described that perfectly. And: "Joe couldn't be happier for his...for Evgeni"...complete the sentence game! Yay! All of these conversations between any of the guys are just written so 'guyish'...it's so realistic (I'm sounding like a broken record, haha. Sorry.) Patrik's little conversation was great--his plan worked, haha. Funny guy:) The fact that he mentions how ridiculously smiley and happy they both are I think is a really great touch of emotions there:) Um...the awkward/sweet/they-are-so-in-love conversation between Joe and Evgeni was precious. They are such frustrating little characters, haha. But I absolutely love how you present them.
And they beat the Rangers!!!! Muahahahaha! You work actual games into this story extremely well, and the ending there was really nice. Once again, you can completely picture that scene, sounds and everything. Just wonderful, wonderful work as usual. You are a very talented writer.
So, as for your questions:
Patrick- no, I think you've developed him extremely nicely.
Devin- same here:)
3- I have an enormous soft spot for how you've portrayed Patrick, but more Devin would be nice too:)
Wow, sorry for a ridiculously wordy and spazzy review, haha. Please, more soon! I'm sure you can tell I love this, haha:)
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Date: 2009-04-13 11:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-13 07:15 pm (UTC)I was kinda like wtf? when I read what Joe did, but then...it made sense cause Nabby was out of it and I swear that I nearly lost it when Nabby was gone the next morning, but the texting was awesome.
I think you should put more Devin in. He's great as comedic relief and it would be interesting if he and Patrick had some kind of bet going for those two.
And yeah...awesome!
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Date: 2009-04-13 10:05 pm (UTC)And yeah, Evgeni was out of it. Or maybe not ;D You'll just have to read and find out. But yaaaay for him for finally getting things right. Not exactly face to face, but small steps, Nabby, you'll get there some day!
And more Devin? You got it! I love that kid.
Thanks for the great review!
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2009-04-13 11:28 pm (UTC)“You’re smiling like a complete dweeb!”
... who me? Yes, yes I am. lol. Nooooo I love that Patty said "dweeb", idk why but I can see him doing it <3
I'm gonna answer the questions before I review because this should be short...
Yes, yes and hell fucking yes. Okay, I have to be me and add something, a story is a story because of all the supporting characters and Patty and Devin are your strongest ones. With Todd popping up (*coughinthintcough*) every now and again. But yeah, you need more Devin and Patty... I will love you forever and ever.
But yeah... not a lot really happened in this chapter, not until the game. Buuuut, so much ended up being uncovered. We see Joe being a friggen sap (who would of thunk it?). And Joe and Evgeni being all awkward like a bunch of pre-teens who like each other and being all shy with each other (my favorite part). And yeeeeaaaah, we see soooo much more Joe, get to see inside his head better and get to understand him better.
Sorry if it's all over the place, I can't get it all out right and am all *squee*-ish right now, lol. But guuuuuh. Amazing. <3. Sooo much love.
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Date: 2009-04-13 11:52 pm (UTC)And I don't think I've used that word in a few years, but it just seemed to fit the image of Joe perfectly (in my mind at least)
Yay, thank you! Hmmmm... Should I be wrong in guessing that Todd should be in this more? ;) But Devin and Patty for sure. I love those boys. And I've said this before but I can'tttttt waittttttt for their bigger parts.
Nope! Just Joe getting off and awkwardness! Until they finally get something done in the end :) I love sappy Joe. There's not enough of it :( I like kinky Joe too though, so we'll see where that might come up again later... I had to say this conversation in my head, and the awkwardness just felt like something two hopelessly in love teenagers would say! No complete thoughts or sentences over here please. Save that for another time, ahaha. Yay understanding!
And thanks for the great review as always! It might be a little scrambly, but I always get what you're trying to say, and everything is always appreciated :)
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