first post for me ^.^
Jun. 8th, 2008 06:27 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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2minsforslashingI am so relieved to have found a whole group of people who are just as disturbed as me =P Everybody is so talented and inspiring. I spent about a week reading and reading everything I could find, and then I started writing and I couldn't stop! So... here is the first part of what I've started, many more parts to come if everybody likies =)
Title: The March of the Penguins
Pairings: one sided Evgeni Malkin/Jordan Staal; fluffy meaningless Evgeni Malkin/Sergei Gonchar; implied Sidney Crosby/Colby Armstrong; one sided Jordan Staal/Max Talbot
Rating: PG-13 for now.. heh heh
Warnings: not beta'd, a little angsty, some drinking and foul language =)
Disclaimer: Sadly, I cannot claim a single thing. Though some of the little facts are true, like Sergei's wife and daughter's names, nicknames used are legitimate player nicknames.
Author's notes: It's written in third person, limited, through the eyes of Evgeni Malkin. Anything written in italics are either Evgeni's thoughts or dreams. Any text between [[...]] symbols are conversations in Russian. Eventually a lot more action will take place, but for now I wanted to get the emotional states of the characters constructed.
Summary: Evgeni is smitten for one of his teammates, who is in turn lusting after someone else on the team. The pain of wanting and watching is beginning to take a toll on Evgeni...
“Hey Geno!”
Malkin groaned inwardly. Part of him hated this nickname they have given him. Is my real name that hard to say? He shook the thought away and turned his head to find the source of the beckoning. Of course it was him. The fates must hate me. He approached Malkin from the other side of the bar. He had a drink in his hand as he left the celebrating huddle of their teammates from the dancing area. He grinned and slung a drunken arm around Malkin’s shoulders. Malkin tried so hard not to melt.
“Ah, hallo Jordan. You play good tonight. Am proud of you.” Malkin smiled earnestly, hoping that his English was good enough for Jordan to understand how much he really meant it.
“Thanks dude! You too, you too.” The Gronk’s words were warm, but it wasn’t Evgeni he was looking at. His gaze was drifting over Evgeni’s shoulder. Evgeni tried to resist following his eyes to Jordan’s distraction, but in the end, he couldn’t help it. A dangerous mix of curiosity and jealousy drew his eyes over his shoulders, where the group of their close friends stood, dancing. There was no doubt which of the teammates had caught Staal’s attention. Maxime Talbot was doing some ridiculous dance to a Latin song. What is it saying? Macaroni? I will never understand American pop culture. As Max hopped in step to the music, he turned towards the two, catching their eyes on him. Evgeni laughed it off with a small wave, but Jordan blushed deeply and quickly averted his eyes down at his fidgeting hands. There was a pang somewhere in Evgeni’s chest, but he willed it away. He needed to step away for a minute or two.
“Uh, bathroom. Okay? Be right back.” Malkin rose and headed to the back of the bar, where he found Sid with his cell phone glued to his face, that longing smile lingering hopelessly. He nodded in acknowledgement of Ev’s presence.
“Colby?” A stupid question, but Malkin thought it rude to assume. Sid grinned. “Tell him I say hallo?” Sid nodded in response but was distracted by whatever Armstrong was running his mouth on and on about. I never in my life knew someone that could talk aimlessly for so long. Thank god I don’t understand very much English. The bathroom was a pleasantly quiet escape from the smoke and noise of the bar. Evgeni splashed some cool water on his face. He wanted to clear his thoughts. He wanted to clear his thoughts of him. He felt so confused. I don’t know if I should be upset that Jordan has expressed some sort of interest in Max… or relieved that he seems to be at least somewhat interested in guys in general. He hung his head as he turned the water off. The door opened and a friendly face appeared.
“Evgeni!” Sergei smiled and tossed an arm around Malkin. Malkin grabbed a paper towel and dried his face with it as he and Sergei exchanged words in their native tongue.
“[[Are you having a good time?]]” Sergei asked of Evgeni, but he followed with a look, as if he knew that Evgeni wasn’t exactly having the time of his life.
“[[Yeah, sure. We played a solid game, I feel good.]]” Evgeni replied, but refused to meet his eyes.
“[[You’re drinking a lot, and alone. Talk to me buddy, what’s going on? You are not yourself.]]”
“[[You know how I am, I don’t speak English, I just feel out of place when I try to be part of everyone else. I’m not like everyone else.]]”
“[[And that is all?]]” Sarge raised his eyebrow at the other Russian, the maneuver successful as his right eyebrow already sat unusually high on his forehead. Evgeni nodded his reply, still unable to meet his eyes. I cannot lie to one of my best friends, and my landlord. But Sergei only shook his head, smirking and making a scoffing noise.
“[[What are you smiling about?]]” Ev was not laughing. Sarge’s cynicism was an annoyance at times.
“[[Do you honestly think that I haven’t noticed?]]" came the older man’s retort.
“[[Noticed what? What are you talking about, Sergei?]]”
“[[You watch him. You never take your eyes off him. It’s killing you.]]”
The look on Evgeni’s face suggested that he was not ready to back down, and he continued to play dumb. Damn him for knowing me so goddamn well.
“[[Staalsy’s a good kid. He really looks up to you. But I don’t think he knows how you look at him, Ev. I don’t think he understands.]]” Sergei put a firm hand on Malkin’s shoulder.
“[[He would understand. He would see it, if he wasn’t so preoccupied watching someone else.]]” Malkin could feel his emotions welling up, and it made him unbearably angry. He shrugged Sarge’s hand off of him and stormed out of the bathroom. Part of him wanted to destroy Max… but he knew it wasn’t really his fault. He grabbed his jacket as he passed the stool that he was previously occupying, where Jordan was no longer waiting for his return. Eager for the cold air against his face, he left the bar and began to walk in some unknown direction up the street.
Title: The March of the Penguins
Pairings: one sided Evgeni Malkin/Jordan Staal; fluffy meaningless Evgeni Malkin/Sergei Gonchar; implied Sidney Crosby/Colby Armstrong; one sided Jordan Staal/Max Talbot
Rating: PG-13 for now.. heh heh
Warnings: not beta'd, a little angsty, some drinking and foul language =)
Disclaimer: Sadly, I cannot claim a single thing. Though some of the little facts are true, like Sergei's wife and daughter's names, nicknames used are legitimate player nicknames.
Author's notes: It's written in third person, limited, through the eyes of Evgeni Malkin. Anything written in italics are either Evgeni's thoughts or dreams. Any text between [[...]] symbols are conversations in Russian. Eventually a lot more action will take place, but for now I wanted to get the emotional states of the characters constructed.
Summary: Evgeni is smitten for one of his teammates, who is in turn lusting after someone else on the team. The pain of wanting and watching is beginning to take a toll on Evgeni...
“Hey Geno!”
Malkin groaned inwardly. Part of him hated this nickname they have given him. Is my real name that hard to say? He shook the thought away and turned his head to find the source of the beckoning. Of course it was him. The fates must hate me. He approached Malkin from the other side of the bar. He had a drink in his hand as he left the celebrating huddle of their teammates from the dancing area. He grinned and slung a drunken arm around Malkin’s shoulders. Malkin tried so hard not to melt.
“Ah, hallo Jordan. You play good tonight. Am proud of you.” Malkin smiled earnestly, hoping that his English was good enough for Jordan to understand how much he really meant it.
“Thanks dude! You too, you too.” The Gronk’s words were warm, but it wasn’t Evgeni he was looking at. His gaze was drifting over Evgeni’s shoulder. Evgeni tried to resist following his eyes to Jordan’s distraction, but in the end, he couldn’t help it. A dangerous mix of curiosity and jealousy drew his eyes over his shoulders, where the group of their close friends stood, dancing. There was no doubt which of the teammates had caught Staal’s attention. Maxime Talbot was doing some ridiculous dance to a Latin song. What is it saying? Macaroni? I will never understand American pop culture. As Max hopped in step to the music, he turned towards the two, catching their eyes on him. Evgeni laughed it off with a small wave, but Jordan blushed deeply and quickly averted his eyes down at his fidgeting hands. There was a pang somewhere in Evgeni’s chest, but he willed it away. He needed to step away for a minute or two.
“Uh, bathroom. Okay? Be right back.” Malkin rose and headed to the back of the bar, where he found Sid with his cell phone glued to his face, that longing smile lingering hopelessly. He nodded in acknowledgement of Ev’s presence.
“Colby?” A stupid question, but Malkin thought it rude to assume. Sid grinned. “Tell him I say hallo?” Sid nodded in response but was distracted by whatever Armstrong was running his mouth on and on about. I never in my life knew someone that could talk aimlessly for so long. Thank god I don’t understand very much English. The bathroom was a pleasantly quiet escape from the smoke and noise of the bar. Evgeni splashed some cool water on his face. He wanted to clear his thoughts. He wanted to clear his thoughts of him. He felt so confused. I don’t know if I should be upset that Jordan has expressed some sort of interest in Max… or relieved that he seems to be at least somewhat interested in guys in general. He hung his head as he turned the water off. The door opened and a friendly face appeared.
“Evgeni!” Sergei smiled and tossed an arm around Malkin. Malkin grabbed a paper towel and dried his face with it as he and Sergei exchanged words in their native tongue.
“[[Are you having a good time?]]” Sergei asked of Evgeni, but he followed with a look, as if he knew that Evgeni wasn’t exactly having the time of his life.
“[[Yeah, sure. We played a solid game, I feel good.]]” Evgeni replied, but refused to meet his eyes.
“[[You’re drinking a lot, and alone. Talk to me buddy, what’s going on? You are not yourself.]]”
“[[You know how I am, I don’t speak English, I just feel out of place when I try to be part of everyone else. I’m not like everyone else.]]”
“[[And that is all?]]” Sarge raised his eyebrow at the other Russian, the maneuver successful as his right eyebrow already sat unusually high on his forehead. Evgeni nodded his reply, still unable to meet his eyes. I cannot lie to one of my best friends, and my landlord. But Sergei only shook his head, smirking and making a scoffing noise.
“[[What are you smiling about?]]” Ev was not laughing. Sarge’s cynicism was an annoyance at times.
“[[Do you honestly think that I haven’t noticed?]]" came the older man’s retort.
“[[Noticed what? What are you talking about, Sergei?]]”
“[[You watch him. You never take your eyes off him. It’s killing you.]]”
The look on Evgeni’s face suggested that he was not ready to back down, and he continued to play dumb. Damn him for knowing me so goddamn well.
“[[Staalsy’s a good kid. He really looks up to you. But I don’t think he knows how you look at him, Ev. I don’t think he understands.]]” Sergei put a firm hand on Malkin’s shoulder.
“[[He would understand. He would see it, if he wasn’t so preoccupied watching someone else.]]” Malkin could feel his emotions welling up, and it made him unbearably angry. He shrugged Sarge’s hand off of him and stormed out of the bathroom. Part of him wanted to destroy Max… but he knew it wasn’t really his fault. He grabbed his jacket as he passed the stool that he was previously occupying, where Jordan was no longer waiting for his return. Eager for the cold air against his face, he left the bar and began to walk in some unknown direction up the street.
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no subject
Date: 2008-06-08 11:15 pm (UTC)butttt
I REALLY! like this! you did a bang-up job writing Geno's accent! :)! that's really hard to do I could like hear his saying the words in my head :)! You also did a good job of introducing the player before using his nick name (nothing I hate more than hearinfg about Gronk and bugys and (although I know who they are) knowing anyone unfamilar with the pens would have no clue and most likly give up reading)
:)! so overal very nice little ficlet! i'm excited for me, lettme know if you need a beta reader! :)!
no subject
Date: 2008-06-08 11:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-06-09 12:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-06-09 12:07 am (UTC)There's a difference between using nicknames in conversation and then referring to the same people using nicknames in description - usually in description it's better just to stick with the name "Sergei"/"Evgeni"/"Jordan" rather than go back and forth "Sarge"/"Ev"/"Malkin"/"The Gronk".
And it'll be interesting to see why Jordan has such an interest in Max.
But I definitely know how it feels to hang on the comments! ;)
no subject
Date: 2008-06-09 12:23 am (UTC)i always just thought staal and max had such chemistry on the rink when they were on the same line, celebrating together all cuuuute =)
no subject
Date: 2008-06-09 12:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-06-09 12:23 am (UTC)Yeah when I first found this place, I was just like, *dies of joy*
This was really good, I can't wait to see what happens next. SadGeno makes me sad :(
no subject
Date: 2008-06-09 03:00 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-06-09 04:37 pm (UTC)I think you definitely need a beta though, as your tenses are a little mixed up and you change perspective a bit.
The italics didn't work, either.
But keep up the good work, I can see this turning into an addictive series.
I'm up for beta work too, if you like. :)
no subject
Date: 2008-06-09 08:20 pm (UTC)Can't waite for more.
no subject
Date: 2008-06-10 03:55 pm (UTC)Oh and welcome! I'm new here as well :)
no subject
Date: 2008-06-11 02:08 am (UTC)I'd have to agree with