Speechless
Mar. 31st, 2008 09:48 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
dragonblk17.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
2minsforslashingTitle: Speechless
Authors: Me (![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
dragonblk17) and Sammy (xunfathomablex).
Pairing: Thomas Vanek/Steve Bernier (Buffalo Sabres), some Milan Michalek/Steve Bernier.
Rating: R for sex, language, and mass amounts of angstiness.
Summary: Steve forgot to mention one little thing to Thomas before they got together.
Notes: I wrote Thomas Vanek/Drew Stafford/Derek Roy, and Sammy wrote Steve Bernier/Milan Michalek.
Disclaimer: We love these boys, but we don't own them. We love to write them, though!
Bern laughed as he ascended the stairs, wobbling a little bit. He’d made breakfast for Thomas — who was still sleeping — and made him his specialty pancakes. They were cinnamon, golden-brown pancakes; split in half in the middle, and smothered in the middle with fresh strawberries, and dribbled over with sweet, cream cheese icing. Bear shook his head. He never cooked breakfast anymore, but when he did, he was told that his pancakes were to die for.
Hopefully, Thomas would like them, too.
Balancing a fork, spoon, knife, and a glass of apple juice, he somehow managed to open the door. Setting everything down quietly so as to not wake up Thomas, he brushed his hair back from his face. Blinking at the intensity of the warmth radiating in the room as it hit his chilled, bare skin, Steve padded over to the bedside. Leaning over Thomas, he whispered a soft, ‘good morning’ against the lips he was kissing.
Thomas groaned softly before he opened his right eye slowly. He saw a mass of brown hair before realizing that Steve was kissing him. “Mmmn, good morning…” His voice sounded groggy after just waking up, plus he had a massive headache. Those damn drinks I had last night…Thomas tried to forget about his slight hangover as he leaned up to press his lips a little harder against the brunette’s. The smell of pancakes suddenly hit his nostrils, and he smiled against the other man’s mouth. “Did you make breakfast…?”
“Oui.” He responded, nodding. “You like pancakes, right? I made you my famous ones. Hope you like strawberries, too.” His lips and fingers were slightly pinker from cutting — and eating — strawberries, and he probably tasted like them, too. Bear nuzzled his nose into Thomas’ neck. “Are you okay with talking with me?”
“Yeah,” Thomas nodded slowly; being able to feel the throbbing in his brain now. He hissed, and brought his hands up to embrace Steve in a hug. “I love strawberries, by the way – but your pancakes are famous?” He grinned, and tilted his head to nuzzle against the younger man’s. “I better try them then; these sounds really good.”
“Yeah, haha, notorious for being addictively good. Those aren’t my words, just a former team’s.” He snuggled into Thomas, then parted their bodies but linked their hands. His fingers began to nervously stroke the blonde’s hand again. “Really? Some people feel awkward after having sex for the first time.”
“Well…” Thomas didn’t know what to say to that, exactly. Yes, he did have a hangover, but he certainly remembered everything that happened the previous evening. The blonde had sex with a guy he had only known for about a day. It certainly was no one night stand, at least, he hoped it wasn’t – but he felt a bit awkward like the brunette had just stated. A pink tongue flicked out of his mouth, and he licked his lips slowly. They were bone dry. “I see what you’re saying…but…I don’t know.” One of his index fingers began to stroke Steve’s knuckles.
Steve shrugged; his normally cheery face during dead serious. “Let’s get something out of the way — I love freely. No regrets are all I ask for. I’m not delusional enough to ask for a relationship, Thomas. You don’t…” His voice tapered off, then continued, “Even really know me. I just don’t want you to turn around and act like last night didn’t happen. That’s all I’m going to ask of you. In return, you are always welcome in this house, anytime.”
Thomas’ breath hitched, and he moved one hand off of his back to cup the bottom of Steve’s chin and turn his face to look at him. Blue eyes stared into teal ones, and the blonde shook his head slowly. “No regrets.” His voice shook when he spoke, and he frowned a little. “I won’t turn and act as if this never happened, Steve. I’m not that kind of guy, I can promise you that.”
Steve nodded, and gave Thomas’ nose a kiss. “I appreciate that.” His cheery demeanor kicked in again, and he smiled. “I’ll let you eat.” Bern fell backwards on the bed, draping himself over Thomas, comfortable in his nudity. “I’ve been up since ages ago...you don’t mind me laying on you, do you?”
“No, I don’t mind.” A smile crept on Thomas’ face, and he leaned over to give Steve a quick peck on the lips. “Now, let’s see just how awesome these pancakes are.” He chuckled, and nuzzled the brunette’s nose with his own before leaning up again to snag the plate of food that was laid out for him. He grabbed onto a fork, and carefully sliced a part of the pancake with the side of it. The strawberries oozed out of the center, and he picked up the small piece with his fork to put it in his mouth. The icing hit his taste buds, and he moaned low in his throat to show he appreciated the breakfast. Everything fit so perfectly together in his mouth, and he could see why people had called his pancakes famous. “These are delicious.”
“Thank you,” Bear said as he closed his eyes. He waited patiently until Thomas finished the pancakes, before he asked, “What are we?” There were a million answers to that question. “Lovers, friends, acquaintances, fuck buddies…” He sighed, “Nothing more then strangers?”
Blue eyes flickered, and the blonde turned his head to look at Steve. “We’re more than strangers, and we are not fuck buddies.” At least, he felt like they weren’t fuck buddies. He was hoping that wasn’t what they were. “But…I do want us to be friends.” Thomas turned his face towards the nearest wall, and stared at one spot for a time. “I don’t think you’ll ever like me enough for us to become lovers. I’m not the greatest guy in the world, and plus, we just met.”
Steve stretched and languorously yawned, and snagged the plate from Thomas’ grasp. “My wall isn’t that interesting.” Was the only thing he said as he got up, walking by Thomas to go downstairs and wash off the plate. Once he was done, he looked out the window for a few minutes, and then headed back upstairs.
He was silent for a few minutes, as he sat on the edge of his bed. His hands were fidgeting again, because Steve was extremely nervous. “Friends don’t have sex with each other.” Teal eyes bravely stared into Thomas’, “And that was some amazing sex…” Bern slinked up the blonde, covering Thomas’ body with his own, “And I’d like to do that again sometime.” The brunette kissed him then, gently.
Thomas tenderly kissed the fellow winger back, and guided his hands slowly towards his shoulders. His bare skin was cool to the touch, and the blonde could feel goose bumps appear on Steve as he slid both of his hands down the sides of his arms. He backed off from the kiss after a little while, and nuzzled his nose against the younger man’s. “That was some great sex…” Thomas murmured, and he slid his hands around Steve’s waist. His lips curved downward into a frown then, and he lightly pressed his lips against his once more. “But you’re right – friends don’t have sex with each other, so…” The blonde didn’t know what else to say; he just knew that he didn’t want to say the wrong thing that would make Steve want him out of the house as immediately as possible.
“So there’s no way we can be friends,” Steve finished, “Unless you want to give that up. I don’t do the whole ‘friends with benefits’ thing. We’re either together in a relationship, or we’re not.” Bern gave him another kiss. “I’m not going to pressure you to make a decision just yet…” He swiped his tongue along the blonde’s bottom lip. “But I don’t know what to do with you, honestly. I could let you fuck me right now, or I could hug you like any normal friend would.”
“I don’t do that thing, either.” Thomas murmured softly as he caught a bit of Steve’s tongue with his own as he swiped his lower lip. “Would you be willing to try and have a relationship with me?” He blinked, and his blue eyes glinted, slightly. “I mean…wow, if we’re going to attempt at it, then we’re already moving pretty fast.”
“We are moving fast, but that’s the fun part,” Steve said, softly, “Learning about the other person as you go. It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve done it.” He grimaced. Should he mention to Thomas that that’s probably what every relationship he’d had in the past started, and ended, from? Those types of relationships didn’t work. The fights he’d had were innumerable and were bound to happen with Thomas and him, no matter how well they fit together. “Or maybe it would be better if we took it slow.”
“I personally would like to take it slow…” Thomas brought his right hand up to Steve’s face, and trailed his index finger along his lips. “If it’s okay with you. If we’re going to try this out, I want us to both share the same opinion on how we should get this relationship to work.” He nodded absentmindedly, and gave the brunette a quick peck upon the lips.
“That’s fine,” Steve said, and he sat back on his haunches. As much as he wanted to ask a few things, he knew now was not the time. “A relationship,” he gave a strained smile, “With you.” It wasn’t so much the fact he was afraid, no; it was the fact that this was staggering. It was like it suddenly hit home — the man in front of him, he knew so little about, and yet, they’d already had sex and slept together like any normal couple would. He let out a shaky breath. Steve wasn’t the type to dwell, though, so… “I’m going to go take a shower. Join me, Thomas?”
Thomas looked into the winger’s teal eyes, and slowly interlaced their fingers together. “Let’s go.” He cracked a smile, and brushed some of the strands of blonde that were falling in the front of his own eyes. Getting up from off the bed was a difficult task, considering Thomas was aching all over the place. From the back of his neck to the bottom of his feet, he was absolutely sore. But it’s worth it, he told himself as he moved slowly over to where Steve was. “Lead the way.”
Bern led the way to a nice, calming, pastel blue bathroom. Accented with a light, soft yellow, he grimaced. “Not my choice in decorating.” He muttered as explanation, and he turned on the shower. While he waited for the shower to heat up, the brunette smiled as he pressed his body flush against Thomas’. Icy hands stroked bigger ones, and Bear gently touched their foreheads together with a soft sigh.
“Jesus, you’re frozen.” Thomas held Steve’s hands tightly, and rubbed his thumbs along his knuckles. He wasn’t too warm himself, but he felt that they could easily keep each other heated. The shower would be able to help the both of them out, as well. “I don’t think the decorating looks too bad…” Thomas chuckled, and shook his head slightly as his forehead was still against Steve’s. “But then again, I do have a horrible sense in fashion. I am not the type of guy you want going with you to select curtains, and things like that.”
“That’s what Derek’s for,” Steve said, his voice an amused chuckle. He gave Thomas a soft kiss, and led them into the shower. His back took the brunt and he hissed when scalding water hit him. Shivering a little when he turned the temperature down, dark teal eyes looked into blue ones. Beginning to soap up his hands, he turned Thomas around. A mischievous glint entered them as Bern began to teasingly, leisurely, soap down the blonde. Starting at his hair, he shampooed and conditioned; then down to his neck where Bern kissed after he rinsed it off, his tongue running over the freshly cleaned skin; down to Thomas’ chest, where he made sure to quickly, efficiently clean it…but as Bern started to go further, he pressed his semi-hard erection against Thomas’ ass. Sighing, softly, he licked his lips, then Thomas’ neck again, as he skimmed right past the Austrian’s groin, right to his upper thighs. The younger man began to rake his fingers, nails up them; then the brunette massaged them. “Thomas,” Steve murmured, softly.
“Steve…uhn,” was all Thomas could muster out as he continued to massage his thighs. The blonde felt weak at the knees as soap trailed down his body; beginning from the shampoo on his head, down his chest and sliding along his legs. He moved his hands down to meet with the younger man’s, and followed them up and down his thighs as the brunette rubbed them gently. “You know, this is really erotic…” Thomas glanced back towards Steve, and he smiled provocatively. He moved one hand back towards where the brunette was standing, and slid two fingers lightly against the tip of his length. “I might have to do something drastic.” He murmured that last line in a deep, husky voice, and licked his lips as blue eyes continued to stare back into teal ones.
Steve simply smiled back, his smile more of a smirk then anything. “Like what, exactly? What are you planning to do to me, Thomas?” His voice was sultry, “Fuck me again? Aren’t you extremely sore?” One hand of his streaked down his chest, snaking down to his own erection; the other hand teased the blonde. Fingers that were experienced danced along Thomas’ length, but never quite touched him.
“I don’t care if I’m sore, Steve.” Thomas growled out, and clamped his eyes shut. The feeling of fingers lightly scraping against his length made his erection twitch. “I’d fuck you again. And again. And again.” The blonde backed up against the younger man, and his ass rubbed more against his erection. “I want you.”
“Are you sure that you want to fuck me?” Steve purred, “Because I’d be more then happy to take you…” His fingers finally stopped teasing Thomas, and he firmly grasped him then. “Or I could blow you…you could watch my mouth swallow your cock, and you could fuck my mouth…” A few light strokes, “And then come down my throat and watch me swallow it all…” Steve removed his hand from Thomas, and licked it. “It’s up to you, Thomas.”
Thomas turned around; hair clinging to the front of his face and his eyes having darkened slightly. His lips curved into a sneer, and he quickly dove for the space between Steve’s neck and collarbone. His teeth nipped at the bare skin, and licked at the bitten areas after he was through with them. “I want you to fuck me so badly…” Thomas panted against the brunette’s skin, and began to bite a little harder. “Take control of me, Steve.”
A soft moan at the blonde’s words was all it took. His hands went to the older man’s firm, nice ass, “Not now,” he murmured, as he dropped to his knees. A pink tongue darted out, quickly, to lick the tip of Thomas’ erection; his hands continued to mold and knead the Austrian’s ass. “Soon,” He murmured, as he slowly slid his mouth onto the winger. It had been so long since Bern had given a blowjob, and it took a while for him to relax his throat enough. He pulled back all the way, with a soft pop, and teal eyes looked up. “Fuck my mouth, Thomas. Fuck it hard until you come down my throat,” And with that, his mouth slid back onto the blonde.
Biting down on his lower lip, Thomas leaned back against the side of the shower wall and thrust his hips towards Steve’s inviting mouth. His fingers twitched as he guided them to the brunette’s head and enveloped them in the mass of brown hair that was now slick with a combination of soap suds and water. The feeling of Bear’s hands on his ass and his mouth surrounding his length was too much for him, and he began to moan out; deep and low. He was biting down harder onto his lip now as he started to thrust deeper into Steve’s mouth, feeling as if he would climax within a minimal amount of time. Thomas was already horny from both the words the Canadian had been saying to him, and the light stroking he had been providing only moments before. He wanted to repay him for the teasing, and his reward was going to be the fucking of his mouth, like he wanted.
Steve had gagged at first, but then he relaxed his gag reflex and relished in the fact that Thomas was enjoying fucking his mouth. It was highly erotic and something about the position turned him on more — maybe it was the fact that his mouth was at Thomas’ mercy. He moaned in his throat as he teased Thomas by almost inserting a finger in him, and when the Austrian thrust in particularly deep, he stopped teasing. Steve’s mouth regretfully left Thomas’ erection, and he stood up. Plunging in another finger, he used his fingers to search for the one spot in Thomas that would make his legs almost buckle. When the brunette found it, he plunged his fingers into it again and again, attempting to make the older man nothing more then putty in his hands.
Steve didn’t hesitate in lowering down to his knees again, still thrusting his fingers into the spot that made Thomas cry out; his mouth took in Thomas again, and he started a rhythm to slide his mouth up and down his length.
“St-St-Steve…” Thomas blurted out, his knees shaking as he buckled towards the floor. He tried his hardest to stand up straight, but it was no use at all. The thrusting of Steve’s fingers plus the feeling of his hot mouth wrapped around Thomas’ erection was too much to bear. The Austrian could sense his climax building up within him, and he didn’t think he could last for much longer. “Faster…god, please. Suck on me faster!” He half moaned, half yelled out. Just a few more good thrusts or sucking would send Thomas right over the edge.
Bern sucked on him until he buried his fingers deep into the blonde and he could feel the older man shudder in climax. Stunning. He thought as he pulled back, letting Thomas come all over his face. He licked a bit of it off his lips, and slipped his fingers out of the blonde to clean off his face. Once he’d licked all of the Austrian’s come from his fingers, he kissed the man. “Good enough for you?” He purred, smiling.
It was difficult for the blonde to comprehend anything at the moment; let alone be able to speak with the man who just blew him. He managed a sheepish grin, and laid his head against the younger man’s shoulder. “You are amazing.” Beads of sweat poured down his forehead onto the brunette’s skin and he began to feel the water getting lukewarm. “I think we should get out now.” Thomas’ hands came up to grab the sides of Steve’s arms. “I don’t want you getting cold.”
Bern simply smiled, but for the moment, he stood up. He brought the winger up with him, and without a word, worked on actually cleaning the blonde this time. Once he was done with that, Steve cleaned himself off briskly, and stepped out of the shower. With only a moment’s pause, he turned off the shower, then he looked back at Thomas.
“I’m not done with you yet,” He whispered, “But that’s for later.” He grabbed a towel, and proceeded to rub down Thomas. In the midst of doing so, he continued talking. “We have practice today, so I can’t fuck you at the moment, now can I?” The brunette grinned, his cheerful demeanor taking over. “So let’s get ready.”
Thomas blinked a few times quickly before running his right hand through his damp, blonde hair. “Haha…oh man, I completely forgot about practice.” He shook his head and watched as a few water droplets few over to hit the walls. They blended in with the paint job soon enough. “Nevertheless, I can’t wait to get out there after yesterday’s game. I’m so pumped.” Thomas stepped out of the shower finally, and grabbed another towel to wipe down Steve. He ruffled his brown hair with it; noticing how a few spikes appeared suddenly. The blonde smiled sweetly, and gave the younger man a kiss on the nose. “You are so cute, you know that?”
“Um,” Steve said, a slight laugh in his voice, “No, I didn’t know I was cute.” His nose crinkled up, but he kissed Thomas back on the nose. “It’ll be nice to get accustomed to Buffalo’s practices. I’m still kind of nervous, though…” Bern felt like he’d only been here five minutes still, and suddenly the concept of practicing with a team of strangers didn’t seem so exciting as it did nerve-wracking. So he kissed Thomas again, and felt a little bit less nervous.
“You’ll be fine…” Thomas murmured, and tenderly kissed Steve back. His nose rubbed against the tip of the brunette’s, and he smiled. “But we should get going – don’t want to be late for your first practice, do you?”
- - -
There were definitely a lot of smiles that showed up in practice that day, and Thomas couldn’t help but also notice how everyone’s moods seemed to be lighter. It had been hard when Soupy had first left Buffalo, but now, it just seemed like everyone was glad to have played their hearts out against Nashville; to show the fans that they weren’t going to fold and that they could move on without the blue liner.
Steve had been kept on the line with Derek and Thomas, and the blonde couldn’t help but constantly look over at the right winger and grin at him. Derek gave him a few awkward looks as he did this, but Thomas just shook his head and said, “Don’t mind me, Derek. I’m just happy, is all.” The smaller man just shrugged his shoulders, and they continued to work hard in practice with the three of them together.
After the short and lighthearted practice was over, Thomas made his way over to the locker that read ‘Bernier’ to speak with the younger man. He had already taken his shirt off, and his sweat glistened against the locker room lights. “Is the nervousness all out of you now, Bear?” The Austrian smiled at him.
“Not quite,” Bear said, laughing, “It’ll be a while before I’m accumulated to Buffalo,” And he smiled, “It doesn’t help when you keep looking over at me and smiling!” He blushed, and turned around. His teal eyes had been roaming all over the blonde’s nice chest. “It’s a nice way to get the whole team to know we’re together,” His voice rang with a hint of distain. As much as he liked to ‘love freely’, Steve didn’t like advertising a relationship. It had nothing to do with anyone else in the locker room, so he didn’t think anyone else needed to know.
"Oh, well sorry." Thomas stuck his tongue out, and leaned against the one part of the lockers. He noticed the brunette's eyes had been glancing over his chest as they spoke, and there was a slight, reddish tint to the blonde's cheeks. "But in all seriousness - I won't do it anymore. It was just…hard to get off of my mind, that's all." The side of his mouth twitched into a smirk, and he placed on hand onto Steve's shoulder. "Good job today in practice." Thomas gave it a small squeeze, and then turned around to head back to his locker to finish changing.
He slowly stepped out of his hockey gear, and placed all of the used equipment in the locker and on the shelves at the top. Thomas continued to put his clothes on; with his back facing the rest of his teammates. Occasionally he would glance back towards Steve, who was also changing at the time. This time, he tried to make it not so obvious. Seeing the muscled back of the right winger made the blonde's mind churn with thoughts, and with a quick flick of his tongue, he licked his lower lip. He really is beautiful…Thomas thought to himself, and he turned his head back towards his locker to throw a shirt on and finish putting the rest of his things away.
Steve, in the middle of changing, knew that Thomas glanced at him occasionally. Even though he knew the blonde was being discreet, he still walked over to Thomas, half changed. “Thomas, you’ll have plenty of time to look later…” He whispered, quietly, and gave him a wink. “Concentrate on changing, not me…for now.”
"I can't help it." The winger looked at Steve from the corner of his eyes, and shook his head. "You're just so…so…" Thomas turned around to look at him. Blue eyes stared into teal ones, and his breath hitched. "Stunning," was the word that finally came out of his mouth. "Besides, I'm almost done. I just have to put a few other things away, and then I'm done cleaning up here."
Steve blushed, looking away. He nodded curtly, letting Thomas know he heard and understood him, and then blinked when his cell phone went off. Eyes widened to their full extent, obviously Bern recognized the ringtone, and he stared, wide-eyed, at Thomas. “Ex-excuse me,” He murmured, and rushed out of the room.
Once outside, he picked up the phone. “Milan!” He whispered, a rushed, excited tone in his voice. It was so good to talk to Milan again, and even though he’d called him last night, it wasn’t the same. Back in San Jose…oh god, the tears were coming on. His voice lowered to a soft hush, “Milan, I missed you so much…I wish I was still back in San Jose, with you…”
“I missed you too, Bear. It’s not the same without you…the team’s not the same. I’m not the same. I miss you so much, I wish you were here with me.”
Milan’s voice broke Steve’s heart, and he sniffled. “It’s okay, Milan, I’ll…I’ll come and visit you this weekend. We can spend the whole weekend together, and just be with each other…”
“Don’t rush back so soon. I know I love you and miss you, and you do the same, but won’t your team need you?”
Not hearing the sound of the locker room door open, Steve sighed, “I love you too, and yes, they’ll need me. But Milan, I love you, I need you. I need San Jose and you so much. So…I’m coming to visit you this weekend.”
Behind Steve, Thomas had been helping Drew Stafford carry out some of his stuff to go take to his car. He had been just passing by Steve when he heard those words - I love you, I need you - and the bag he had been carrying fell with a 'plop' onto the hard, cement floor. The Austrian's eyes had widened, and he felt his heart twinge achingly at what the brunette had just said into his phone. He…there's someone else? Thomas couldn't think straight at that moment, and he didn't know if Steve even knew he was there. "Hey Thomas!" Drew yelled from down the hallway. "What's wrong? Come on! I have to get going in a bit; I don't want to be late." The blonde glanced over at Steve, and his breath hitched. He didn't know if he would turn around now that his name had been said.
Bear heard the bag drop, and turned around. Upon seeing Thomas, he smiled, and switched the phone to his shoulder. He gave the blonde a kiss on the cheek as he picked up Drew’s bag, and while still on the phone with Milan, took the younger man’s bag out to his car. “Well, I’ll talk to you soon, Milan,” The right winger’s normally cheerful voice was soft, solemn, heavy, “Keep your chin up, baby.”
“Yours too. Until this weekend, I send you my love and kisses.”
Click.
Bernier moseyed back to his locker, tears almost in his eyes. San Jose, only a couple of days away. He couldn’t wait, he could not wait. With a sniffle, he hid the tears away, and went back into the locker room to get his things.
As Steve's conversation had carried on, Thomas had slowly made his way back to the locker room, and sat in his own stall. His fingers were shaking; not from cold, but from the words he had heard. The blonde wasn't the type to be in a relationship with someone who loved another person. His conscience barked at him that it wasn't right at all, and he knew that.
Blue eyes glanced up to the notice the younger man stride back into the room again, and Thomas turned his head away. He couldn't look at him - at least, not now. He should've told me before…before we…The Austrian didn't want to finish the thought, and buried his face into his hands. They were extremely warm, and he could feel the sweat beginning to form on them. He could also feel his blood pressure rise as he sat there; now thinking back to the previous night the both of them had shared. It was so passionate, and so…perfect. Now thinking about the fact that there was another person, while they had been engaged in sex, made Thomas sick to his stomach.
Noticing Thomas’ bad mood, and forgetting his own, he dropped all his things to rush over to hug Thomas. He took the blonde’s hands away from his face, peeling them back to hold with his own. Kissing both cheeks, teal eyes looked into the Austrian’s.
Thomas' blue eyes gleamed over with sadness appearing through them, and he choked back tears he felt springing up as he looked into the teal eyes of the brunette. "Steve…I…," he began to say, then his head turned downwards to look at the tan carpeting of the locker room. "I heard your phone conversation." Thomas finally spoke after a few silent moments, and he glanced back up at Steve. Short strands of blonde hair fell into his eyes, and he didn't bother to brush them away. "Why didn't you tell me there was someone else?"
“Why does it matter?” Steve countered, softly, “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t expect to be so involved with you so fast. I took you back to my house, and…I just forgot. Everything went out the window around you.” Bear tilted up the blonde’s chin, so he could look into those eyes. “I’m more interesting then a carpet, Thomas, please look at me…” He could see the tears in them, and he rubbed his thumbs gently across the Austrian’s high cheekbones, brushing away errant strands of hair. “I was going to tell you, Thomas.”
"When were you going to tell me?" This time, he couldn't stop himself as a few teardrops gently fell from his eyes and down his cheeks. The warm tears trailed down towards his chin, and finally dropped onto the carpet beneath him. A soft sniffle was heard as he sucked in a quick breath. This wasn't exactly the best time for breaking down, but he couldn't help it. "And it matters because…because…" Thomas' breath hitched, and he choked back a few more tears trying to sneak up from beneath his eyes again. "I don't want to be with you if there's someone else - someone who has been with you for a long time, Steve." The blonde lifted up a right hand to caress one of the brunette's that had been stroking his cheek. "It just isn't right…"
“I…” Steve was quiet for a while; then he shook his head. His thumb wiped away the older man’s tears away brusquely, and then they slipped away. A soft, inaudible sigh escaped Steve’s lips, “It’s not wrong.” He murmured, and gave Thomas a kiss. “Then don’t be with me if you don’t agree with what I do.” Despite the sweetness of the kiss Bern had just given the other winger, his voice rang with a bit of vice. The younger man kissed his nose, then shrugged. “I’m not going to give up Milan. I love him, Thomas. I told you I love freely.”
Thomas sniffled once more, and his lips quivered as he continued to look at Steve. It absolutely broke his heart to look at the man in front of him, and find him still as gorgeous as he had been when he first set his eyes on the brunette. The Austrian didn't know what to say as his eyes stung when tears sprang up, again. He quickly swept them away, and shook his head. "I can't do this with you, Steve. I wish that I could accept this, but…it hit home pretty hard." Thomas' voice shook, and cracked as he said those last few words. "I'm sorry…"
Authors: Me (
dragonblk17) and Sammy (xunfathomablex).Pairing: Thomas Vanek/Steve Bernier (Buffalo Sabres), some Milan Michalek/Steve Bernier.
Rating: R for sex, language, and mass amounts of angstiness.
Summary: Steve forgot to mention one little thing to Thomas before they got together.
Notes: I wrote Thomas Vanek/Drew Stafford/Derek Roy, and Sammy wrote Steve Bernier/Milan Michalek.
Disclaimer: We love these boys, but we don't own them. We love to write them, though!
Bern laughed as he ascended the stairs, wobbling a little bit. He’d made breakfast for Thomas — who was still sleeping — and made him his specialty pancakes. They were cinnamon, golden-brown pancakes; split in half in the middle, and smothered in the middle with fresh strawberries, and dribbled over with sweet, cream cheese icing. Bear shook his head. He never cooked breakfast anymore, but when he did, he was told that his pancakes were to die for.
Hopefully, Thomas would like them, too.
Balancing a fork, spoon, knife, and a glass of apple juice, he somehow managed to open the door. Setting everything down quietly so as to not wake up Thomas, he brushed his hair back from his face. Blinking at the intensity of the warmth radiating in the room as it hit his chilled, bare skin, Steve padded over to the bedside. Leaning over Thomas, he whispered a soft, ‘good morning’ against the lips he was kissing.
Thomas groaned softly before he opened his right eye slowly. He saw a mass of brown hair before realizing that Steve was kissing him. “Mmmn, good morning…” His voice sounded groggy after just waking up, plus he had a massive headache. Those damn drinks I had last night…Thomas tried to forget about his slight hangover as he leaned up to press his lips a little harder against the brunette’s. The smell of pancakes suddenly hit his nostrils, and he smiled against the other man’s mouth. “Did you make breakfast…?”
“Oui.” He responded, nodding. “You like pancakes, right? I made you my famous ones. Hope you like strawberries, too.” His lips and fingers were slightly pinker from cutting — and eating — strawberries, and he probably tasted like them, too. Bear nuzzled his nose into Thomas’ neck. “Are you okay with talking with me?”
“Yeah,” Thomas nodded slowly; being able to feel the throbbing in his brain now. He hissed, and brought his hands up to embrace Steve in a hug. “I love strawberries, by the way – but your pancakes are famous?” He grinned, and tilted his head to nuzzle against the younger man’s. “I better try them then; these sounds really good.”
“Yeah, haha, notorious for being addictively good. Those aren’t my words, just a former team’s.” He snuggled into Thomas, then parted their bodies but linked their hands. His fingers began to nervously stroke the blonde’s hand again. “Really? Some people feel awkward after having sex for the first time.”
“Well…” Thomas didn’t know what to say to that, exactly. Yes, he did have a hangover, but he certainly remembered everything that happened the previous evening. The blonde had sex with a guy he had only known for about a day. It certainly was no one night stand, at least, he hoped it wasn’t – but he felt a bit awkward like the brunette had just stated. A pink tongue flicked out of his mouth, and he licked his lips slowly. They were bone dry. “I see what you’re saying…but…I don’t know.” One of his index fingers began to stroke Steve’s knuckles.
Steve shrugged; his normally cheery face during dead serious. “Let’s get something out of the way — I love freely. No regrets are all I ask for. I’m not delusional enough to ask for a relationship, Thomas. You don’t…” His voice tapered off, then continued, “Even really know me. I just don’t want you to turn around and act like last night didn’t happen. That’s all I’m going to ask of you. In return, you are always welcome in this house, anytime.”
Thomas’ breath hitched, and he moved one hand off of his back to cup the bottom of Steve’s chin and turn his face to look at him. Blue eyes stared into teal ones, and the blonde shook his head slowly. “No regrets.” His voice shook when he spoke, and he frowned a little. “I won’t turn and act as if this never happened, Steve. I’m not that kind of guy, I can promise you that.”
Steve nodded, and gave Thomas’ nose a kiss. “I appreciate that.” His cheery demeanor kicked in again, and he smiled. “I’ll let you eat.” Bern fell backwards on the bed, draping himself over Thomas, comfortable in his nudity. “I’ve been up since ages ago...you don’t mind me laying on you, do you?”
“No, I don’t mind.” A smile crept on Thomas’ face, and he leaned over to give Steve a quick peck on the lips. “Now, let’s see just how awesome these pancakes are.” He chuckled, and nuzzled the brunette’s nose with his own before leaning up again to snag the plate of food that was laid out for him. He grabbed onto a fork, and carefully sliced a part of the pancake with the side of it. The strawberries oozed out of the center, and he picked up the small piece with his fork to put it in his mouth. The icing hit his taste buds, and he moaned low in his throat to show he appreciated the breakfast. Everything fit so perfectly together in his mouth, and he could see why people had called his pancakes famous. “These are delicious.”
“Thank you,” Bear said as he closed his eyes. He waited patiently until Thomas finished the pancakes, before he asked, “What are we?” There were a million answers to that question. “Lovers, friends, acquaintances, fuck buddies…” He sighed, “Nothing more then strangers?”
Blue eyes flickered, and the blonde turned his head to look at Steve. “We’re more than strangers, and we are not fuck buddies.” At least, he felt like they weren’t fuck buddies. He was hoping that wasn’t what they were. “But…I do want us to be friends.” Thomas turned his face towards the nearest wall, and stared at one spot for a time. “I don’t think you’ll ever like me enough for us to become lovers. I’m not the greatest guy in the world, and plus, we just met.”
Steve stretched and languorously yawned, and snagged the plate from Thomas’ grasp. “My wall isn’t that interesting.” Was the only thing he said as he got up, walking by Thomas to go downstairs and wash off the plate. Once he was done, he looked out the window for a few minutes, and then headed back upstairs.
He was silent for a few minutes, as he sat on the edge of his bed. His hands were fidgeting again, because Steve was extremely nervous. “Friends don’t have sex with each other.” Teal eyes bravely stared into Thomas’, “And that was some amazing sex…” Bern slinked up the blonde, covering Thomas’ body with his own, “And I’d like to do that again sometime.” The brunette kissed him then, gently.
Thomas tenderly kissed the fellow winger back, and guided his hands slowly towards his shoulders. His bare skin was cool to the touch, and the blonde could feel goose bumps appear on Steve as he slid both of his hands down the sides of his arms. He backed off from the kiss after a little while, and nuzzled his nose against the younger man’s. “That was some great sex…” Thomas murmured, and he slid his hands around Steve’s waist. His lips curved downward into a frown then, and he lightly pressed his lips against his once more. “But you’re right – friends don’t have sex with each other, so…” The blonde didn’t know what else to say; he just knew that he didn’t want to say the wrong thing that would make Steve want him out of the house as immediately as possible.
“So there’s no way we can be friends,” Steve finished, “Unless you want to give that up. I don’t do the whole ‘friends with benefits’ thing. We’re either together in a relationship, or we’re not.” Bern gave him another kiss. “I’m not going to pressure you to make a decision just yet…” He swiped his tongue along the blonde’s bottom lip. “But I don’t know what to do with you, honestly. I could let you fuck me right now, or I could hug you like any normal friend would.”
“I don’t do that thing, either.” Thomas murmured softly as he caught a bit of Steve’s tongue with his own as he swiped his lower lip. “Would you be willing to try and have a relationship with me?” He blinked, and his blue eyes glinted, slightly. “I mean…wow, if we’re going to attempt at it, then we’re already moving pretty fast.”
“We are moving fast, but that’s the fun part,” Steve said, softly, “Learning about the other person as you go. It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve done it.” He grimaced. Should he mention to Thomas that that’s probably what every relationship he’d had in the past started, and ended, from? Those types of relationships didn’t work. The fights he’d had were innumerable and were bound to happen with Thomas and him, no matter how well they fit together. “Or maybe it would be better if we took it slow.”
“I personally would like to take it slow…” Thomas brought his right hand up to Steve’s face, and trailed his index finger along his lips. “If it’s okay with you. If we’re going to try this out, I want us to both share the same opinion on how we should get this relationship to work.” He nodded absentmindedly, and gave the brunette a quick peck upon the lips.
“That’s fine,” Steve said, and he sat back on his haunches. As much as he wanted to ask a few things, he knew now was not the time. “A relationship,” he gave a strained smile, “With you.” It wasn’t so much the fact he was afraid, no; it was the fact that this was staggering. It was like it suddenly hit home — the man in front of him, he knew so little about, and yet, they’d already had sex and slept together like any normal couple would. He let out a shaky breath. Steve wasn’t the type to dwell, though, so… “I’m going to go take a shower. Join me, Thomas?”
Thomas looked into the winger’s teal eyes, and slowly interlaced their fingers together. “Let’s go.” He cracked a smile, and brushed some of the strands of blonde that were falling in the front of his own eyes. Getting up from off the bed was a difficult task, considering Thomas was aching all over the place. From the back of his neck to the bottom of his feet, he was absolutely sore. But it’s worth it, he told himself as he moved slowly over to where Steve was. “Lead the way.”
Bern led the way to a nice, calming, pastel blue bathroom. Accented with a light, soft yellow, he grimaced. “Not my choice in decorating.” He muttered as explanation, and he turned on the shower. While he waited for the shower to heat up, the brunette smiled as he pressed his body flush against Thomas’. Icy hands stroked bigger ones, and Bear gently touched their foreheads together with a soft sigh.
“Jesus, you’re frozen.” Thomas held Steve’s hands tightly, and rubbed his thumbs along his knuckles. He wasn’t too warm himself, but he felt that they could easily keep each other heated. The shower would be able to help the both of them out, as well. “I don’t think the decorating looks too bad…” Thomas chuckled, and shook his head slightly as his forehead was still against Steve’s. “But then again, I do have a horrible sense in fashion. I am not the type of guy you want going with you to select curtains, and things like that.”
“That’s what Derek’s for,” Steve said, his voice an amused chuckle. He gave Thomas a soft kiss, and led them into the shower. His back took the brunt and he hissed when scalding water hit him. Shivering a little when he turned the temperature down, dark teal eyes looked into blue ones. Beginning to soap up his hands, he turned Thomas around. A mischievous glint entered them as Bern began to teasingly, leisurely, soap down the blonde. Starting at his hair, he shampooed and conditioned; then down to his neck where Bern kissed after he rinsed it off, his tongue running over the freshly cleaned skin; down to Thomas’ chest, where he made sure to quickly, efficiently clean it…but as Bern started to go further, he pressed his semi-hard erection against Thomas’ ass. Sighing, softly, he licked his lips, then Thomas’ neck again, as he skimmed right past the Austrian’s groin, right to his upper thighs. The younger man began to rake his fingers, nails up them; then the brunette massaged them. “Thomas,” Steve murmured, softly.
“Steve…uhn,” was all Thomas could muster out as he continued to massage his thighs. The blonde felt weak at the knees as soap trailed down his body; beginning from the shampoo on his head, down his chest and sliding along his legs. He moved his hands down to meet with the younger man’s, and followed them up and down his thighs as the brunette rubbed them gently. “You know, this is really erotic…” Thomas glanced back towards Steve, and he smiled provocatively. He moved one hand back towards where the brunette was standing, and slid two fingers lightly against the tip of his length. “I might have to do something drastic.” He murmured that last line in a deep, husky voice, and licked his lips as blue eyes continued to stare back into teal ones.
Steve simply smiled back, his smile more of a smirk then anything. “Like what, exactly? What are you planning to do to me, Thomas?” His voice was sultry, “Fuck me again? Aren’t you extremely sore?” One hand of his streaked down his chest, snaking down to his own erection; the other hand teased the blonde. Fingers that were experienced danced along Thomas’ length, but never quite touched him.
“I don’t care if I’m sore, Steve.” Thomas growled out, and clamped his eyes shut. The feeling of fingers lightly scraping against his length made his erection twitch. “I’d fuck you again. And again. And again.” The blonde backed up against the younger man, and his ass rubbed more against his erection. “I want you.”
“Are you sure that you want to fuck me?” Steve purred, “Because I’d be more then happy to take you…” His fingers finally stopped teasing Thomas, and he firmly grasped him then. “Or I could blow you…you could watch my mouth swallow your cock, and you could fuck my mouth…” A few light strokes, “And then come down my throat and watch me swallow it all…” Steve removed his hand from Thomas, and licked it. “It’s up to you, Thomas.”
Thomas turned around; hair clinging to the front of his face and his eyes having darkened slightly. His lips curved into a sneer, and he quickly dove for the space between Steve’s neck and collarbone. His teeth nipped at the bare skin, and licked at the bitten areas after he was through with them. “I want you to fuck me so badly…” Thomas panted against the brunette’s skin, and began to bite a little harder. “Take control of me, Steve.”
A soft moan at the blonde’s words was all it took. His hands went to the older man’s firm, nice ass, “Not now,” he murmured, as he dropped to his knees. A pink tongue darted out, quickly, to lick the tip of Thomas’ erection; his hands continued to mold and knead the Austrian’s ass. “Soon,” He murmured, as he slowly slid his mouth onto the winger. It had been so long since Bern had given a blowjob, and it took a while for him to relax his throat enough. He pulled back all the way, with a soft pop, and teal eyes looked up. “Fuck my mouth, Thomas. Fuck it hard until you come down my throat,” And with that, his mouth slid back onto the blonde.
Biting down on his lower lip, Thomas leaned back against the side of the shower wall and thrust his hips towards Steve’s inviting mouth. His fingers twitched as he guided them to the brunette’s head and enveloped them in the mass of brown hair that was now slick with a combination of soap suds and water. The feeling of Bear’s hands on his ass and his mouth surrounding his length was too much for him, and he began to moan out; deep and low. He was biting down harder onto his lip now as he started to thrust deeper into Steve’s mouth, feeling as if he would climax within a minimal amount of time. Thomas was already horny from both the words the Canadian had been saying to him, and the light stroking he had been providing only moments before. He wanted to repay him for the teasing, and his reward was going to be the fucking of his mouth, like he wanted.
Steve had gagged at first, but then he relaxed his gag reflex and relished in the fact that Thomas was enjoying fucking his mouth. It was highly erotic and something about the position turned him on more — maybe it was the fact that his mouth was at Thomas’ mercy. He moaned in his throat as he teased Thomas by almost inserting a finger in him, and when the Austrian thrust in particularly deep, he stopped teasing. Steve’s mouth regretfully left Thomas’ erection, and he stood up. Plunging in another finger, he used his fingers to search for the one spot in Thomas that would make his legs almost buckle. When the brunette found it, he plunged his fingers into it again and again, attempting to make the older man nothing more then putty in his hands.
Steve didn’t hesitate in lowering down to his knees again, still thrusting his fingers into the spot that made Thomas cry out; his mouth took in Thomas again, and he started a rhythm to slide his mouth up and down his length.
“St-St-Steve…” Thomas blurted out, his knees shaking as he buckled towards the floor. He tried his hardest to stand up straight, but it was no use at all. The thrusting of Steve’s fingers plus the feeling of his hot mouth wrapped around Thomas’ erection was too much to bear. The Austrian could sense his climax building up within him, and he didn’t think he could last for much longer. “Faster…god, please. Suck on me faster!” He half moaned, half yelled out. Just a few more good thrusts or sucking would send Thomas right over the edge.
Bern sucked on him until he buried his fingers deep into the blonde and he could feel the older man shudder in climax. Stunning. He thought as he pulled back, letting Thomas come all over his face. He licked a bit of it off his lips, and slipped his fingers out of the blonde to clean off his face. Once he’d licked all of the Austrian’s come from his fingers, he kissed the man. “Good enough for you?” He purred, smiling.
It was difficult for the blonde to comprehend anything at the moment; let alone be able to speak with the man who just blew him. He managed a sheepish grin, and laid his head against the younger man’s shoulder. “You are amazing.” Beads of sweat poured down his forehead onto the brunette’s skin and he began to feel the water getting lukewarm. “I think we should get out now.” Thomas’ hands came up to grab the sides of Steve’s arms. “I don’t want you getting cold.”
Bern simply smiled, but for the moment, he stood up. He brought the winger up with him, and without a word, worked on actually cleaning the blonde this time. Once he was done with that, Steve cleaned himself off briskly, and stepped out of the shower. With only a moment’s pause, he turned off the shower, then he looked back at Thomas.
“I’m not done with you yet,” He whispered, “But that’s for later.” He grabbed a towel, and proceeded to rub down Thomas. In the midst of doing so, he continued talking. “We have practice today, so I can’t fuck you at the moment, now can I?” The brunette grinned, his cheerful demeanor taking over. “So let’s get ready.”
Thomas blinked a few times quickly before running his right hand through his damp, blonde hair. “Haha…oh man, I completely forgot about practice.” He shook his head and watched as a few water droplets few over to hit the walls. They blended in with the paint job soon enough. “Nevertheless, I can’t wait to get out there after yesterday’s game. I’m so pumped.” Thomas stepped out of the shower finally, and grabbed another towel to wipe down Steve. He ruffled his brown hair with it; noticing how a few spikes appeared suddenly. The blonde smiled sweetly, and gave the younger man a kiss on the nose. “You are so cute, you know that?”
“Um,” Steve said, a slight laugh in his voice, “No, I didn’t know I was cute.” His nose crinkled up, but he kissed Thomas back on the nose. “It’ll be nice to get accustomed to Buffalo’s practices. I’m still kind of nervous, though…” Bern felt like he’d only been here five minutes still, and suddenly the concept of practicing with a team of strangers didn’t seem so exciting as it did nerve-wracking. So he kissed Thomas again, and felt a little bit less nervous.
“You’ll be fine…” Thomas murmured, and tenderly kissed Steve back. His nose rubbed against the tip of the brunette’s, and he smiled. “But we should get going – don’t want to be late for your first practice, do you?”
- - -
There were definitely a lot of smiles that showed up in practice that day, and Thomas couldn’t help but also notice how everyone’s moods seemed to be lighter. It had been hard when Soupy had first left Buffalo, but now, it just seemed like everyone was glad to have played their hearts out against Nashville; to show the fans that they weren’t going to fold and that they could move on without the blue liner.
Steve had been kept on the line with Derek and Thomas, and the blonde couldn’t help but constantly look over at the right winger and grin at him. Derek gave him a few awkward looks as he did this, but Thomas just shook his head and said, “Don’t mind me, Derek. I’m just happy, is all.” The smaller man just shrugged his shoulders, and they continued to work hard in practice with the three of them together.
After the short and lighthearted practice was over, Thomas made his way over to the locker that read ‘Bernier’ to speak with the younger man. He had already taken his shirt off, and his sweat glistened against the locker room lights. “Is the nervousness all out of you now, Bear?” The Austrian smiled at him.
“Not quite,” Bear said, laughing, “It’ll be a while before I’m accumulated to Buffalo,” And he smiled, “It doesn’t help when you keep looking over at me and smiling!” He blushed, and turned around. His teal eyes had been roaming all over the blonde’s nice chest. “It’s a nice way to get the whole team to know we’re together,” His voice rang with a hint of distain. As much as he liked to ‘love freely’, Steve didn’t like advertising a relationship. It had nothing to do with anyone else in the locker room, so he didn’t think anyone else needed to know.
"Oh, well sorry." Thomas stuck his tongue out, and leaned against the one part of the lockers. He noticed the brunette's eyes had been glancing over his chest as they spoke, and there was a slight, reddish tint to the blonde's cheeks. "But in all seriousness - I won't do it anymore. It was just…hard to get off of my mind, that's all." The side of his mouth twitched into a smirk, and he placed on hand onto Steve's shoulder. "Good job today in practice." Thomas gave it a small squeeze, and then turned around to head back to his locker to finish changing.
He slowly stepped out of his hockey gear, and placed all of the used equipment in the locker and on the shelves at the top. Thomas continued to put his clothes on; with his back facing the rest of his teammates. Occasionally he would glance back towards Steve, who was also changing at the time. This time, he tried to make it not so obvious. Seeing the muscled back of the right winger made the blonde's mind churn with thoughts, and with a quick flick of his tongue, he licked his lower lip. He really is beautiful…Thomas thought to himself, and he turned his head back towards his locker to throw a shirt on and finish putting the rest of his things away.
Steve, in the middle of changing, knew that Thomas glanced at him occasionally. Even though he knew the blonde was being discreet, he still walked over to Thomas, half changed. “Thomas, you’ll have plenty of time to look later…” He whispered, quietly, and gave him a wink. “Concentrate on changing, not me…for now.”
"I can't help it." The winger looked at Steve from the corner of his eyes, and shook his head. "You're just so…so…" Thomas turned around to look at him. Blue eyes stared into teal ones, and his breath hitched. "Stunning," was the word that finally came out of his mouth. "Besides, I'm almost done. I just have to put a few other things away, and then I'm done cleaning up here."
Steve blushed, looking away. He nodded curtly, letting Thomas know he heard and understood him, and then blinked when his cell phone went off. Eyes widened to their full extent, obviously Bern recognized the ringtone, and he stared, wide-eyed, at Thomas. “Ex-excuse me,” He murmured, and rushed out of the room.
Once outside, he picked up the phone. “Milan!” He whispered, a rushed, excited tone in his voice. It was so good to talk to Milan again, and even though he’d called him last night, it wasn’t the same. Back in San Jose…oh god, the tears were coming on. His voice lowered to a soft hush, “Milan, I missed you so much…I wish I was still back in San Jose, with you…”
“I missed you too, Bear. It’s not the same without you…the team’s not the same. I’m not the same. I miss you so much, I wish you were here with me.”
Milan’s voice broke Steve’s heart, and he sniffled. “It’s okay, Milan, I’ll…I’ll come and visit you this weekend. We can spend the whole weekend together, and just be with each other…”
“Don’t rush back so soon. I know I love you and miss you, and you do the same, but won’t your team need you?”
Not hearing the sound of the locker room door open, Steve sighed, “I love you too, and yes, they’ll need me. But Milan, I love you, I need you. I need San Jose and you so much. So…I’m coming to visit you this weekend.”
Behind Steve, Thomas had been helping Drew Stafford carry out some of his stuff to go take to his car. He had been just passing by Steve when he heard those words - I love you, I need you - and the bag he had been carrying fell with a 'plop' onto the hard, cement floor. The Austrian's eyes had widened, and he felt his heart twinge achingly at what the brunette had just said into his phone. He…there's someone else? Thomas couldn't think straight at that moment, and he didn't know if Steve even knew he was there. "Hey Thomas!" Drew yelled from down the hallway. "What's wrong? Come on! I have to get going in a bit; I don't want to be late." The blonde glanced over at Steve, and his breath hitched. He didn't know if he would turn around now that his name had been said.
Bear heard the bag drop, and turned around. Upon seeing Thomas, he smiled, and switched the phone to his shoulder. He gave the blonde a kiss on the cheek as he picked up Drew’s bag, and while still on the phone with Milan, took the younger man’s bag out to his car. “Well, I’ll talk to you soon, Milan,” The right winger’s normally cheerful voice was soft, solemn, heavy, “Keep your chin up, baby.”
“Yours too. Until this weekend, I send you my love and kisses.”
Click.
Bernier moseyed back to his locker, tears almost in his eyes. San Jose, only a couple of days away. He couldn’t wait, he could not wait. With a sniffle, he hid the tears away, and went back into the locker room to get his things.
As Steve's conversation had carried on, Thomas had slowly made his way back to the locker room, and sat in his own stall. His fingers were shaking; not from cold, but from the words he had heard. The blonde wasn't the type to be in a relationship with someone who loved another person. His conscience barked at him that it wasn't right at all, and he knew that.
Blue eyes glanced up to the notice the younger man stride back into the room again, and Thomas turned his head away. He couldn't look at him - at least, not now. He should've told me before…before we…The Austrian didn't want to finish the thought, and buried his face into his hands. They were extremely warm, and he could feel the sweat beginning to form on them. He could also feel his blood pressure rise as he sat there; now thinking back to the previous night the both of them had shared. It was so passionate, and so…perfect. Now thinking about the fact that there was another person, while they had been engaged in sex, made Thomas sick to his stomach.
Noticing Thomas’ bad mood, and forgetting his own, he dropped all his things to rush over to hug Thomas. He took the blonde’s hands away from his face, peeling them back to hold with his own. Kissing both cheeks, teal eyes looked into the Austrian’s.
Thomas' blue eyes gleamed over with sadness appearing through them, and he choked back tears he felt springing up as he looked into the teal eyes of the brunette. "Steve…I…," he began to say, then his head turned downwards to look at the tan carpeting of the locker room. "I heard your phone conversation." Thomas finally spoke after a few silent moments, and he glanced back up at Steve. Short strands of blonde hair fell into his eyes, and he didn't bother to brush them away. "Why didn't you tell me there was someone else?"
“Why does it matter?” Steve countered, softly, “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t expect to be so involved with you so fast. I took you back to my house, and…I just forgot. Everything went out the window around you.” Bear tilted up the blonde’s chin, so he could look into those eyes. “I’m more interesting then a carpet, Thomas, please look at me…” He could see the tears in them, and he rubbed his thumbs gently across the Austrian’s high cheekbones, brushing away errant strands of hair. “I was going to tell you, Thomas.”
"When were you going to tell me?" This time, he couldn't stop himself as a few teardrops gently fell from his eyes and down his cheeks. The warm tears trailed down towards his chin, and finally dropped onto the carpet beneath him. A soft sniffle was heard as he sucked in a quick breath. This wasn't exactly the best time for breaking down, but he couldn't help it. "And it matters because…because…" Thomas' breath hitched, and he choked back a few more tears trying to sneak up from beneath his eyes again. "I don't want to be with you if there's someone else - someone who has been with you for a long time, Steve." The blonde lifted up a right hand to caress one of the brunette's that had been stroking his cheek. "It just isn't right…"
“I…” Steve was quiet for a while; then he shook his head. His thumb wiped away the older man’s tears away brusquely, and then they slipped away. A soft, inaudible sigh escaped Steve’s lips, “It’s not wrong.” He murmured, and gave Thomas a kiss. “Then don’t be with me if you don’t agree with what I do.” Despite the sweetness of the kiss Bern had just given the other winger, his voice rang with a bit of vice. The younger man kissed his nose, then shrugged. “I’m not going to give up Milan. I love him, Thomas. I told you I love freely.”
Thomas sniffled once more, and his lips quivered as he continued to look at Steve. It absolutely broke his heart to look at the man in front of him, and find him still as gorgeous as he had been when he first set his eyes on the brunette. The Austrian didn't know what to say as his eyes stung when tears sprang up, again. He quickly swept them away, and shook his head. "I can't do this with you, Steve. I wish that I could accept this, but…it hit home pretty hard." Thomas' voice shook, and cracked as he said those last few words. "I'm sorry…"
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Date: 2008-04-01 01:52 am (UTC)i fell in loveeeeeeeeeeee :)
its soooo cute. :)
it makes me wanna hug them all!!
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Date: 2008-04-01 01:55 am (UTC)I want to hug them all so badly, I agree. :]
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Date: 2008-04-01 02:05 am (UTC)i makes me actually think that steve may LOVE FREELY!
his 7 yr relationship in ottawa!!
but being with different girls in san jose and buffalo..
dont you think he cheats on her?
hha!