2minsforslashing

Title: Vienna
Authors:

geekintehpink
Fandom: NHL > Boston Bruins
Characters: Glen Murray/Marc Savard
Word Count: 1,213
Rating: PG13

The day's last one-way ticket train pulls in
We smile for the casual closure capturing
There goes the downpour
There goes my fare thee well
There's really no way to reach me
'Cause I'm already gone

I watched the expression on his face, as the rest of the team filed out of the locker room. He was torn. And I absolutely understood. He was happy that the team had performed well. Of course he would be, as the assistant captain, it was his job. But at the same time, I could see it there. The not-so-latent sadness and frustration at the fact that he wasn't 'producing' as he should have been. He was. Just not in the ways that people took notice of, and I hated that for him. Because he was working so hard. I took a seat beside him on the bench, putting my hand on his arm and feeling the abrasive fabric of his suit, but not caring, even though I would have much preferred the feel of his skin. His eyes rose to look into mine, and I saw the bit of tears threatening to make their way out. And that was when I knew that whatever was going on in his head was really serious. Because Glen was generally too proud to cry. But when something got to him that much, it was serious.

I knew that situations like this didn't require words. Just being there. And I also knew that he didn't want to go home and deal with fighting with Katie that night. So, I just pulled him from the seat he was in and nodded toward the door, to the exit. We walked innocently down the hall, to the door, and...God, Glen just couldn't bring himself to even pretend to smile. We hurried to my car, and when we got there—and off of the Garden property, for that matter, just away from everything, I looked over at him. And his eyes were welling over. And my heart broke. God. Glen never cried. At least not since I'd known him. But here he was, in a heap of tears, and there was nothing I could do that I hadn't already tried. And that? Was killing me. I didn't care about how I felt. I just wanted to fix whatever it was in Glen's mind that was preventing him from being in the form that I, and the rest of the team, knew he could be in. But no one—not even Glen, it seemed—knew what it was. I put a hand on his arm, trying to think of what to say to calm him. “You worked your ass off out there, you know that, right?” I asked as I made to cut the wheel and pull over.

“Don't,” he said, holding a hand up and stopping me from pulling over. I think that meant that he didn't want to freak out in public on the side of the road. That it could wait until we got to my apartment, so he didn't run the risk of being seen. I obeyed his command and waited for him to continue speaking. “I just...when you have so much to...to prove? I don't think...trying is enough, Marc. I mean...yeah, I'm...I'm doing my best. But...I think I need to face it...” he stopped, glancing down at his hands. “My career is pretty much over.”

But he was full of shit. I didn't care if everyone gave up in him, himself included. I would have the faith that was needed to pull him out of this. I would put the puck on his stick every night, set him up as many times as I had to...not care what it cost the team, as long as I found a way to get Glen from his slump. “No,” I told him. I wasn't going to let him think that it was over, because there was no way that it could be. “It's not over. I won't let it be. Listen to me...” I glanced over quickly, to see him looking at me intently, and was glad right then that we were at my apartment building. I pulled into my paring spot and continued my tirade, because there was no stopping me now. “Glen, you're a fucking amazing player. You have a career that so many players wish they could have. So what if people think you can't succeed without a Joe or a...who the fuck ever...to center you. So WHAT if people don't have faith in you? I do. I'll make up for it. Glen...you...have to find yourself again. You have to. For us...”

“I want to, Marc...” he spoke in a shamed tone. “That was what I told myself I was going to do today. And look at where it got me. Crying in my boyfriend's car in his parking space, bringing him down from what was supposed to be a good mood...fucking hell, Marc. I am the fucking worst boyfriend ev—”

I shook my head and stopped him, mid-sentence, mostly because I couldn't bear to hear him go on any farther. “No. No, okay? You're not. Just...look at me. Listen to me. We are going to get you out of this. We have to,” I spoke selfishly. We had to. Not just for Glen's sanity. But for mine. Because God knows that without him, I really didn't feel like I could do this. There were people in Boston that I could talk to, sure. But Glen? Was my other half. He was all I needed. I felt tears coming to my eyes and looked at the door to my apartment building. “Let's...” I felt the lump in my throat, and tried to speak without it coming up, “go in. We need to be...alone...”

He nodded and we made a quick trip of getting up the stairs and into my apartment. And that night? I think we both agreed that there was going to be no sex. Mostly because as soon as the door closed behind me? I exploded into tears, too, and Glen and I just embraced. I buried my head in his shoulder, and he just held me. We hadn't gotten any farther than one or two steps into my apartment yet, but we were just standing together in the doorway, clinging to one another like we were afraid the other would disappear. Because for all we knew? He could get a phone call, and it could be over. Just like that. And I wasn't ready for that. At all. We'd worked too hard to get back to that point, anyway. We'd gone through too much. With the rest of the world seeming to hone in on our relationship, I'd taken for granted the fact that he was with me, in Boston. And with what was going on around us? It was becoming all too real, what could happen. I looked up into those bleary, brown eyes and swallowed a lump in my throat. “G-Glen?”

“Yeah?” he reached up and wiped a tear from my cheek.

I smiled at the gesture, and leaned against his shoulder. “I love you...”

“I love you, too...Marc. I really do...” he pulled back from the hug and looked at me. “I'm trying to fix this. Because...I don't want to...”

“I know. We'll work on it...together...” I promised.

There's so many words that we can say
Spoken upon long-distance melody
This is my hello
This is my goodness
There's really no way to reach me
'Cause I'm already gone

lyrics by the Fray