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[frosty-fics.livejournal.com]

Title: You Are My Signal Fire (Part 32)
Characters: Andrew Raycroft / Ian White
Word Count: 1662
Rating: PG-13ish, swearing
Setting: Toronto, Ontario
Disclaimer: I don’t own these players, nor do I know their sexual preferences. The whole thing is a work of my imagination. The title is part of the lyrics from snow patrol’s song ‘Signal Fire’.

Andy's POV

“Honey, I’m home.” Ian joked as he opened the door to my our apartment, throwing his coat in the general direction of the living room chair but missing by about a foot and landing with the rest of his crap in a pile beside it.

“I hope you’re not expecting dinner or anything. You know what happens when I cook.” I look up at him from where I’m sitting on the couch. He comes over and collapses beside me, resting his head on my shoulder.

“You mean food comes in colours other than black?”

“So I’m told.” I toss an arm lazily around his shoulders, “So what do you feel like tonight?”

“I don’t know. I’m good for anything.”

“It’s your turn to pick.”

“No, I picked last time.”

“You fucking liar,” I tighten my grip on his head so that it’s more like a headlock, “I picked thai last time.”

He tried fighting me off, but I definitely had the advantage at this point, “Get off! And I picked Italian yesterday with that George Clooney movie! We had thai on Monday. Your turn!”

“Oh yeah…” I pondered, Ian’s head still wedged between my ribs and bicep.

“Can you let me up then?” he panted, still struggling.

“Hm, I guess so. But you’re ordering.”

“Fine!”

“Kay!” I said cheerily, relinquishing my grasp on him. He pushed my arm away, glaring at me. “Let’s just order a pizza.”

“Healthy.” Ian smirked at me from where he sat, but his hand was already reaching for his cell phone.

I looked back up at the television where the suits on the news panel were all talking, my heart beating a little faster as I noticed a maple leaf on the TV screen behind them. What were they talking about now? I turned up the volume, intent on listening to the whispers and rumours of the NHL off season.

“….with the leafs new acquisition of Finnish net minder Vesa Toskala, you have to wonder if Raycroft’s days are numbered.” Ian was talking on the phone beside me, ordering the pizza but all I could hear was the pounding of my heart, speeding up ever faster as anxiety set in at the words of the sports casters.

A different man, in a pin stripe suit was now talking, “It’ll be interesting to see who they go with for sure. It’s going to be a battle. Andrew Raycroft is definitely going to have to step up his game this season if he hopes to remain the number one goaltender…if with the leafs at all.” This was followed by some clips of some of my worst moments last season, missing shots and making it look like I was sleeping through the game. I groaned inwardly watching the replays of shots that any peewee goaltender could have stopped.

A familiar, though scarred, face in a navy suit and a gravely voice was now addressing the leafs’ goalie matter, “It wasn’t all screw-ups. He did a lot for the team and brought them back on numerous occasions when the leafs offence had been less then inspired last season. He’s still a young guy, he’s going to make mistakes for sure. But you gotta understand the pressure of playing in Toronto. It’s not easy, let me tell you from personal experience. I’ll be very impressed if Toskala doesn’t crack under it too.”

“One thing is for sure it’s going to be an all out goalie brawl. Toskala seems really eager to claim that number one spot after playing number two to Nabokov in San Jose. He’s out to prove a point and that makes him a dangerous man.”

I couldn’t breathe, there was no air in my lungs. I put my head in my hands and ran my fingers frantically through my hair. Oh fuck. What do I do? I can’t leave Toronto. Fuck. Ian just fucking moved in here last week. Fuck. Will he keep the apartment if I leave? Do I leave my stuff here and come stay with him for the off-season. Oh my god. I can’t fucking breathe. I finally managed a breath, but it sounded strangled like an anvil was sitting on my chest.

“Andrew? Andrew baby, what’s wrong.” Ian had just got off the phone and seemed to only realize my distress now. I felt his arm across my back, trying to force me to turn and look at him, but I could do nothing but stare at the carpet. Oh my god, I’m going to be traded.

I heard a delicately accented English voice emanating from the television and my eyes were instantly back on the screen, looking at my fair haired ‘team mate’, “That’s why I’m here. I’m looking forward to more ice time than I was having in San Jose. That’s my main goal, but it will be a competition and we’ll see how it goes.”

Ian was rubbing my back now as he watched Vesa’s interview, “It’ll be okay Andrew. They’re not going to get rid of you after you did such a great job last season. This season will be so much better anyways. Vesa will give you a bit of a break every once and awhile. You won’t have to play every single game, you won’t get injured because you’re tired. I mean you’ll have me there with you too.” He was trying so hard to cheer me up, but I could hear the strain in his voice. Clearly he was a little unsure of this whole thing too. Competition? For my spot? Don’t they realize what kind of pressure I’m under already playing here? The fans here demand a Stanley cup and they want me to deliver one to them.

I leaned back into the couch, letting my head rest against the back and stared at the ceiling instead, eyes stinging slightly as I felt tears forming in their corners. Ian grabbed the remote and changed the channel to some sitcom that was decidedly more cheerful, “Don’t worry. You’ll be fine.”

I glanced over at him and he smiled warmly at me, which made my eyes well up even further. Leaning over I found myself hugging him tightly, cheek pressed firmly against his chest. He stroked my hair and soothed my uneasiness, and I felt a couple silent tears run down my cheek, soaking into the fabric of his t-shirt. “I don’t want to leave you.” I finally managed, my voice sounding somehow small.

“Is that what this is about?” I could hear the smile in his voice, “That’s not going to happen Andy. Even if you were somehow traded, which won’t happen, we’ll make it work.” He leaned down and kissed the top of my head as he said this, and I felt instantly better, though not completely okay with everything.

We just sat there in silence, him rubbing my back and me firmly attached to his chest, until the pizza came, but I wasn’t hungry anymore. My stomach was in such knots that I feared even opening my mouth or I might be sick. Ian was great though, he just sat there with me. We didn’t need to speak, he just held me because he seemed to understand that’s what I needed.

I must have fallen asleep because I woke up in bed, Ian sleeping beside me. I don’t know how he managed to get me in here without waking me up but he had. Crawling over beside him, I rested my head on his shoulder and threw an arm over his chest, hugging him into me. His breathing was even and there was a dull thump against his chest as his heart beat slowly and I fell asleep at ease with him there.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I woke up late morning and found the bed empty as expected; Ian typically didn’t sleep in unless I gave him a reason to be tired. Yawning I got up and walked into the living room, lazily scratching my stomach under my shirt where it was grumbling at me. Ian was sitting on the couch and gave me a nervous smile when I sat down beside him with a cup of lukewarm coffee. I raised an eyebrow at him in confusion at the look, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing…well…I don’t know how to tell you…after yesterday…” he trailed off and stared at the floor like he was getting paid for it.

“Okay…you’re starting to make me nervous. What is it?”

“Well I…I kind of told my family I’d go home to Winnipeg for a couple weeks. I don’t want to leave you here either…it’s just well….they don’t really know.”

“What do you mean they don’t know?”

“About you and me…well mostly about me…I think it would kill my dad. He’d just keel over and have a heart attack if I said it. My mum still tries to set me up with every pretty blonde girl in sight. You’d think she’d take a hint when I say they’re not my type.” A nervous laugh escaped from somewhere within Ian and he was watching me warily.

“Oh. Well that’s fine.” He frowned at me, unconvinced, “No really, I’m okay. Just how long is a couple of weeks?”

He grabbed my hand, stroking the top of my hand with a broad thumb, “I said three…but I think I can manage to squeeze it into two and come back to Toronto if you want. Oh god I’m sorry…leaving when you need me like this. I’m so sorry.”

“I said it’s fine. You make it sound like I’m going to commit suicide the minute you get on the plane. Believe me, I’ll be just fine.” Lies. All lies. But he promised. And it was his family. I’d be okay. Unless he had some secret boyfriend stashed out there in Manitoba…doubtful.

“Thank you for being so great about this.” He smiled, kissing me gently on the lips which turned into a late morning make-out session. Oh to be young again.

You can find the whole series here in my fic journal, frosty_fics

Comments

[bhavna-grint.livejournal.com]

OMG VESA!!! LOVE IT. ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT!

Petra--you own my soul, g-money ♥

[frosty-fics.livejournal.com]

lmao, sweet! My evil plan is working.

And I had to work in the whole 'vesa situation' somehow. ^.^

[unfolddream.livejournal.com]

This is such a wonderful story! I love it so much and eagerly check the internet to see if it has been updated pretty much every day. I'm so excited to see what is next.

[honeybee718.livejournal.com]

aw thank you so much. And it shouldn't be too long for another update since i finally sort of know what I'm going to do.

[jadedragon-84.livejournal.com]

oh so fantastic! ;) the two of them had better not do anything stupid while ian's away!

i'm so glad you updated!

[honeybee718.livejournal.com]

Why would I do that? *innocent face*

And thanks, I'm glad the writer's block is finally subsiding some.

[forevercanuck.livejournal.com]

Argh, Ian is too good with Andy.
I hope he'll be okay while Ian's away..

And
RAWR at Vesa. lol

[honeybee718.livejournal.com]

We shall see ;) Bwahahaha :P

And rawr indeed...he looks damn good in a leafs jersey ^.^

[ovielove.livejournal.com]

GAH! Okay. So I just re-read the whoooole story because I forgot what happened early on and now, damn you, I love these boys all over again! What is that? WHY?

Ahem. But back to the story - I'm totally sucked in and I'm nervous that you're going to do something to them while Ian is away and UPDATE QUICKLY PLEASE :D

(Was that comment rambly enough for you? :P)

[frosty-fics.livejournal.com]

The same reason you made me love the caps? Through the power of fiction?

Why would I do something to them? That just wouldn't be my style. I love having them all happy and coupley. ;)

(That was perfect. :P)

[creepy-crawly.livejournal.com]

*snorts* My mum and I just had the "Vesa-versus-Raycroft" screaming argument calm, rational debate like, seriously, five minutes ago. And then this was all cute and fluffy and sweet. And so much more interesting than my lit homework. Seriously, thanks for writing this. I love you so much for writing this, I am sooo not kidding. ♥

[frosty-fics.livejournal.com]

You better be with Raycroft *shakes fist threateningly* ;) I'm a little protective.

And you're welcome. I wanted to include this for awhile now (since it happened really), but I just had some other stuff to get through first. Now I'm moving on to my next idea. :)

[sabresgirl18.livejournal.com]

aw! That was a good chapter! I'm sure they'll survive those weeks apart...I hope.

[frosty-fics.livejournal.com]

Thanks :D I hope they make it too know they'll make it! :P

[purpledragon104.livejournal.com]

It's great to see another update. I was wondering if/when the Toskala trade was going to make it into this. The way Ian takes care of Andy while he's upset is so sweet. I can't wait to see how things go for the two of them while they are away from each other.

[frosty-fics.livejournal.com]

That's just the vibe I get from Ian, acts all tough on the ice but off the ice he's a sweetheart. Maybe it's me.

I'll try and get an update up soon for you guys, since you all seem so eager. :D Which makes me want to write. It's a good system really.

[kaatiya.livejournal.com]

An all-out goalie brawl! LOL. Great line. Poor Andrew. Can't get a break.