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Jul. 25th, 2007 09:05 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
dragonblk17.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
2minsforslashingTitle: This Is How I Feel
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
dragonblk17
Chapter: Part 3 of 3?
Pairings/Characters: Thomas Vanek/Derek Roy
Rating: PG
Setting: Buffalo, New York
Disclaimer: You basically know the drill - I don't own them and never will, no matter what I wish for.
“Thomas, I need to talk to you about…About things between us. Just in case, you know..”
“Yeah, I know.”
The two men had relocated themselves out onto the bench, and stared out at the seemingly hard cover that sat on top of the ice for the summer months. It had only been two months since the season ended, but it felt like years. Offseason was always tough for lots of players, but they were able to spend a lot more time with their families since the season was over. Still, Derek missed those late nights on an airplane heading back towards Buffalo, and also arriving early at the rink to get a headstart on practice. He was sure Thomas felt the exact same way about things.
“So, what is it? You’re not looking too hot right now.” Derek heard a chuckle by the side of him, and felt a long arm curl around his shoulders. “Your face is completely white.”
“…Well…” Derek was trembling. He knew, he just knew he had to explain to Thomas that if he left, their relationship might not work out anymore. He wasn’t going to risk hurting Thomas’ feelings – nothing was worth doing that to the twenty-three year old holding him right now.
“Let me guess – You have a girlfriend. You’re getting married in a far off place, oh wait, London? No, not fashionable enough for you. Um…Paris? They would probably have some clothes you like there…” Thomas rambled off but Derek interrupted him.
“I’m worried that if I don’t stay here, we won’t be able to be together anymore. At all.” He was staring directly at Thomas now, and noticed how the younger man’s mouth was slightly open, as if he were processing this information in his head over and over again. “I..I don’t want to hurt you Thomas.” He stifled a sob located deep within his throat, and Derek could feel hot tears spring up to his eyes. “I already did that enough, when I told you about my previous girlfriend. Remember how you punched me in the face?”
Thomas grimaced at the thought of what had happened that night. He remembered it so clearly, too. He overreacted; which is the least he could say about his short temper at that point. It had taken a few days, but the both of them reconciled, and they were fine again. The only problem Thomas could see now with their relationship being on the fritz dealt with the one and only Maxim Afinogenov. He knew for a fact that Max still had feelings for Derek, but never felt the urge to discuss it with him.
“I remember Derek. I’m…still so sorry about that.” A hand caressed the same spot that was punched a few months earlier. “You know I overreacted, I was a dumbass that night. I regret all the things I said, and-“
“But Thomas, I know you didn’t mean the things you said. That’s not the problem here.” Derek stood up, and walked the length of the rest of the bench. He leaned against the boards a bit for support. “The problem is I know I would fuck up again if I left, and nothing in this entire world is worth hurting you again. I love you way too much.”
“…Derek, aren’t you wondering why the hell I’m still with you if you think I’ll end the relationship if you ‘fuck’ it up?” Thomas was standing up too, now. His hands were slightly clenched into fists, and he stared hard at the smaller man who was leaning against the boards. Derek couldn’t help but think about what Thomas was saying. Why had he continued to stay with him after all this time? After his ex, after Max?
“Then why are you still with me, Thomas? Enlighten me, here.” Derek took his weight off of the boards, and stared right back into the blue eyes of his boyfriend.
The shade of Thomas’ eyes seemed to change to a lighter, softer blue as the expression on his face changed as well. It appeared calmer, tranquil. His hands had also unclenched themselves and hung loosely at his sides.
“I love you too much to let anything get in the way of what we have, Derek.” His voice was barely above a whisper, but the emptiness of the arena seemed to echo his voice throughout it. “This arbitration thing – If it doesn’t work out, I’ll always love you, for you. I don’t care about the money, the team, the location, anything. All I care about is you. My best friend, my lover – my Roysie.” Thomas sat back down, and stared back out onto what would be the ice if it were September. A tear trickled down his cheek, but he didn’t care at all at that moment. All he cared about was his little center, the man he had adored ever since he had first came to Buffalo back in 2003. He was all that mattered, now.
Thomas didn’t even feel the warmth of the arms that wrapped around him tightly as he sat disturbingly still. He did, in fact, feel tears which were not his hit his hand with light patters.
Author:
dragonblk17Chapter: Part 3 of 3?
Pairings/Characters: Thomas Vanek/Derek Roy
Rating: PG
Setting: Buffalo, New York
Disclaimer: You basically know the drill - I don't own them and never will, no matter what I wish for.
“Thomas, I need to talk to you about…About things between us. Just in case, you know..”
“Yeah, I know.”
The two men had relocated themselves out onto the bench, and stared out at the seemingly hard cover that sat on top of the ice for the summer months. It had only been two months since the season ended, but it felt like years. Offseason was always tough for lots of players, but they were able to spend a lot more time with their families since the season was over. Still, Derek missed those late nights on an airplane heading back towards Buffalo, and also arriving early at the rink to get a headstart on practice. He was sure Thomas felt the exact same way about things.
“So, what is it? You’re not looking too hot right now.” Derek heard a chuckle by the side of him, and felt a long arm curl around his shoulders. “Your face is completely white.”
“…Well…” Derek was trembling. He knew, he just knew he had to explain to Thomas that if he left, their relationship might not work out anymore. He wasn’t going to risk hurting Thomas’ feelings – nothing was worth doing that to the twenty-three year old holding him right now.
“Let me guess – You have a girlfriend. You’re getting married in a far off place, oh wait, London? No, not fashionable enough for you. Um…Paris? They would probably have some clothes you like there…” Thomas rambled off but Derek interrupted him.
“I’m worried that if I don’t stay here, we won’t be able to be together anymore. At all.” He was staring directly at Thomas now, and noticed how the younger man’s mouth was slightly open, as if he were processing this information in his head over and over again. “I..I don’t want to hurt you Thomas.” He stifled a sob located deep within his throat, and Derek could feel hot tears spring up to his eyes. “I already did that enough, when I told you about my previous girlfriend. Remember how you punched me in the face?”
Thomas grimaced at the thought of what had happened that night. He remembered it so clearly, too. He overreacted; which is the least he could say about his short temper at that point. It had taken a few days, but the both of them reconciled, and they were fine again. The only problem Thomas could see now with their relationship being on the fritz dealt with the one and only Maxim Afinogenov. He knew for a fact that Max still had feelings for Derek, but never felt the urge to discuss it with him.
“I remember Derek. I’m…still so sorry about that.” A hand caressed the same spot that was punched a few months earlier. “You know I overreacted, I was a dumbass that night. I regret all the things I said, and-“
“But Thomas, I know you didn’t mean the things you said. That’s not the problem here.” Derek stood up, and walked the length of the rest of the bench. He leaned against the boards a bit for support. “The problem is I know I would fuck up again if I left, and nothing in this entire world is worth hurting you again. I love you way too much.”
“…Derek, aren’t you wondering why the hell I’m still with you if you think I’ll end the relationship if you ‘fuck’ it up?” Thomas was standing up too, now. His hands were slightly clenched into fists, and he stared hard at the smaller man who was leaning against the boards. Derek couldn’t help but think about what Thomas was saying. Why had he continued to stay with him after all this time? After his ex, after Max?
“Then why are you still with me, Thomas? Enlighten me, here.” Derek took his weight off of the boards, and stared right back into the blue eyes of his boyfriend.
The shade of Thomas’ eyes seemed to change to a lighter, softer blue as the expression on his face changed as well. It appeared calmer, tranquil. His hands had also unclenched themselves and hung loosely at his sides.
“I love you too much to let anything get in the way of what we have, Derek.” His voice was barely above a whisper, but the emptiness of the arena seemed to echo his voice throughout it. “This arbitration thing – If it doesn’t work out, I’ll always love you, for you. I don’t care about the money, the team, the location, anything. All I care about is you. My best friend, my lover – my Roysie.” Thomas sat back down, and stared back out onto what would be the ice if it were September. A tear trickled down his cheek, but he didn’t care at all at that moment. All he cared about was his little center, the man he had adored ever since he had first came to Buffalo back in 2003. He was all that mattered, now.
Thomas didn’t even feel the warmth of the arms that wrapped around him tightly as he sat disturbingly still. He did, in fact, feel tears which were not his hit his hand with light patters.
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Date: 2007-07-25 04:00 pm (UTC)I'd like to see it continued but if you ended it here i'd be content. <33
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Date: 2007-07-25 04:03 pm (UTC)I probably won't continue and leave it there. I don't know, the ending seems too perfect for me to continue.
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Date: 2007-07-25 05:37 pm (UTC)It's adorable and sad and lovely and so well-written and just right.
:)
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Date: 2007-07-25 05:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-25 07:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-25 07:24 pm (UTC)But yeah, even if I did continue, I don't think I would break them up - even if Derek did end up leaving.
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Date: 2007-07-25 08:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-25 10:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-25 10:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-26 12:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-04 03:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-04 03:17 pm (UTC)I could write about the fight they had over, since I wrote it in another big story that my friend and I have written. I'll think about it, and the fact I could write another chapter now since Derek is staying in Buffalo.