Oh man, I was so psyched to see that you'd updated this!
This is really enjoyable; I like the way the narrative follows a couple of different threads, like it's almost slipping through time. It's a nice counterpoint to the hockey history links, as they so firmly anchor the events to something, well, real :) Plus, it's *hot,* despite being pretty subtle.
The conversation is so perfect and you really have a way with that. It just works so well, woven right in: "You never got an answer for what I asked you about, did you?"
"I...no." Is 'I wanted to take you and see if something almost exactly like what would happen did happen?' still too vague? "Why'd you say 'yes' to anything?"
Yessss, I am sort of stupid about them, and really like that section.
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Date: 2010-03-06 08:41 pm (UTC)This is really enjoyable; I like the way the narrative follows a couple of different threads, like it's almost slipping through time. It's a nice counterpoint to the hockey history links, as they so firmly anchor the events to something, well, real :) Plus, it's *hot,* despite being pretty subtle.
The conversation is so perfect and you really have a way with that. It just works so well, woven right in:
"You never got an answer for what I asked you about, did you?"
"I...no." Is 'I wanted to take you and see if something almost exactly like what would happen did happen?' still too vague? "Why'd you say 'yes' to anything?"
Yessss, I am sort of stupid about them, and really like that section.