2minsforslashing | Fic: Not close enough for comfort (Reply)

Title: Not Close enough for Comfort
Author: Hockey_Slasher19
Disclaimer: Not only do I not *own* the Red Wings, I also do not have the right to use them.
I *do* own Cirise, and RightView Hotel.
Rating: Pg - Pg13
Pairing: Brendan Shanahan + Steve Yzerman
Author's notes: So, I stumbled across this community a few weeks ago, and after having the appropriate apoplectic fit of joy, (the former yahoo community I was in, Hockey-Dreams has seemed very nearly dead since the lockout) I began working on my wings fics again. This is an older one of mine, that I wrote last year, but I edited it and thought I'd post it here. I'm really happy this community exists.
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Game after game; at least three times a week, usually four or even five. Play out all the emotions, the frustrations of the day, the built up hostility; you can skate it all out, sweat it off, or even bleed it off, if that's your style of play, either way, hockey is a sport where you can vent your frustrations, your pain. Hockey is a venting sport. You'd think that someone like me would get it all out on the ice, and I do, to some extent, but there is one area of the sport that only perpetuates my anger and frustration. That area is my Captain, Steve Yzerman. Oh no no no, don't get me wrong. I don't dislike anything about him, I don't resent him, and I am not jealous of him. In fact, I love him, but he is married, with a daughter, so, I can't very well demand his love.
And I don't quite know what to

The phone rang and Brendan sighed. ~Damn it, I'm trying to articulate myself.~ He grumbled inside his head as he sat his pen down on his journal and reached for the phone. It was six in the morning, a dull grey and depressing morning. One of the ones where the clouds hung in the air, threatening to rain, but never actually carrying through. It was one of those mornings where the pressure of the very air felt sad and Brendan was due to meet his team-mates at the airport at seven forty five. An away game, Phoenix.

"Hello?" He muttered, deciding his writing was done for the day and he might as well pack up his stuff. He always had a little trouble writing, he'd get too easily distracted, so he was rightfully a little miffed by this distraction.

"Heya Bren! It's me, Drapes! You asked me to call and let you know what the room arrangements were for tonight?" Brendan suppressed a small sigh. Right, he had. Lately roomies had been changed around a lot, so Brendan wanted a small notice on whether or not he would be rooming with Tomas, or Sergei or what.

"Hey Drapes, yeah. Who am I with?" He made sure he had a smile in his voice, but he was having a bad start to his day, maybe writing all your most frustrating feelings out first thing in the morning was a bad idea. He'd have to remember that.

He pulled himself away from his thoughts in time to hear Kris ruffle some papers for a moment before replying sunnily

"Ooooo. You're with El Presidente, the Captain himself." Brendan rolled his eyes.

Great.

----- Phoenix Arizona 10:00 PM Rightview Hotel ------

Brendan hoisted his luggage over his shoulder and stepped onto the elevator next to Steve. Steve carried a rolling suitcase, probably because of his injured knee, Brendan observed. There was a moment of tense silence in the Elevator, before Steve smiled and said
"What luck, we're in room 1408 on the 13th floor. The our room number's digits add up to thirteen." Brendan laughed, hard.

"Are you implying Scotty has it out for us?" Steve grinned, it was so different from his usual prim smile, which was really just a small tugging on the corners of his mouth, this smile showed the missing tooth and reduced his age by at least ten years. Brendan couldn't resist that smile, and smiled back. Just then the elevator doors slid open with a 'ping' and Steve's smile melted off slowly.

They wandered down the hallway, checking each door until they came to their room. Brendan sat down his suitcase and fumbled in his pockets for the room key, just as he managed to get it out and slip it into the door, Kris and Darren ran by laughing, and Kirk and Joey weren't far behind them, cursing loudly.

"Drapes, give me those back!" Brendan couldn't see what it was Drapes was holding, but he wasn't sure he wanted to know anyway. Pushing open the door, he grabbed his luggage and led the way in. He could hear Steve breathing behind him, and felt his heart hammer. Oh god, he could smell the smaller man, that sweet musky cologne, it was overwhelming the pink Lysol clean scent of the room, then Steve flipped the light switch and they both blinked in surprise.

"Why is there only one bed?" Brendan asked dropping his stuff onto the tan carpeting. Steve sighed and shrugged.

"They must have messed up, we should have a double." He started to turn around "I'll go ask them what's going on." Brendan stopped him.

"Hey, I'll go do it, you sit down and rest your knee." He could see a faint irritation in Steve's eyes, but ignored it. He didn't want to be alone in this room with that faint smell of Steve's cologne. He hurried back to the elevator, passing a pile of people wresting on the floor that he could assume was the Grind Line. He smiled a little and then decided that the stairs would be quicker than waiting for the elevator, besides, he wanted to get the lust for Steve out of his system, and running down stairs would help.

He raced, making his pounding heart drown out his thoughts of Steve, thinking only of getting to the end of the stairs. Finally he reached the bottom, his heart thudding, his breath short, the blood racing through his system. He caught his breath before heading over to the front desk.

There was a small pleasant woman standing that the desk, she smiled when he came up to her.

"Hello, I am Cerise. How may I help you?" He smiled back.

"Hi, I'm Brendan Shanahan, I have a room up on the 13th floor, Room 1408, and we were supposed to get a double, but we have a single." The woman's pleasant expression faded and she looked puzzled.

"How can that be? One moment, I'll check the computer." She turned to the luminescent screen and began typing frantically. Brendan sighed and leaned on the marble counter, examining his own reflection and messing with his hair. Finally she cleared her throat.

"Well Mr. Shanahan, I have you registered for a single." He sighed, feeling irritated.

"Is there any way we can switch to a double?" She began typing, and shook her head.

"No, I'm sorry. There's a-- hm, a Satanic convention in town for the next three days, and the hotel is booked up. But, I can give you a coupon for a free double later on in the year." Brendan closed his eyes, he could feel a mild headache coming on.

"Can we at least get a cot?" He was willing to sleep on the cot, so Steve would be more comfortable. Again, she shook her head. "No, we're short on cots right now. I'm sorry." Brendan bit his lower lip, forcing himself to stay civil.

"Thank you." And before she could say anything more, he walked away. He sighed. He could sleep on the floor or maybe in the bath tub... Damn it. Steve was right, they were staying in a room on the thirteenth floor, and it's numbers added up to thirteen, it was a sure sign of bad luck.

He opened the door to the room he shared with Steve and found Steve sitting on the bed and flipping through the channels.

"You're on TV." Brendan laughed in spite of his irritation and sat down next to Steve, watching himself respond to Ken Kal's questions. After a few moments Steve turned to him.

"So, what's the word on our room?" Brendan sighed, running one hand through his dark hair.
"Cerise at the front desk says that they're booked, so they can't switch rooms, and they don't have any cots available." Steve rolled his eyes.

"Of course." Brendan stood up, feeling nervous, and began to unpack his small bag of clothing.

"So, I can sleep on the floor, or in the tub or something." He began to ramble. Steve laughed, thinking he was joking.
"Cute Bren. We'll share the bed. It's not like you're going to ravish me in the night or anything." He grinned and winked. Brendan felt his cheeks warm and forced a smile back. "Of course not."

Soon enough it was eleven, and they were both getting tired, so Bren went into the bathroom.

He brushed his teeth for a long time, staring at his reflection in the mirror. Dark hair, fair skin, dark eyes, a slight cleft in his chin, yes, he was Irish, one look at him would tell you that, and his temper matched his nationality, he knew, still, he wasn't a bad guy, he was nice, friendly, fun to be with, wasn't he? He spit the toothpaste out of his mouth and shook his head. It didn't matter how nice he was, Steve wasn't going to love him, because Steve was straight. There was a knock on the door, pulling him out of his reverie.

"Hey Bren, gonna be done in there tonight?" Steve called and Brendan smiled a little.

"Nope, go ask the GrindLine if you can use their bathroom."

"Fine, be that way." He heard the hotel room door open and close, and his eyes widened. He opened the bathroom door and stuck his head out.

"Steve I was just---" Something pushed past him and into the bathroom and he laughed.

"Nice Steve. Real mature."Steve laughed and ran his toothbrush under warm water after applying paste.

"Your own fault. You fell for it."
Brendan rolled his eyes and leaned into the other sink cupping his hands under the icy water and bringing it to his face. His skin tightened in retaliation to the cold and he shivered a little.

Steve handed him a towel and Brendan dried his face and went into the other room to change. He had been in better spirits since Steve had pushed his way into the bathroom, but now he felt almost scared. He was going to be sharing a bed with the guy he had dreamed about while alone at night. Frowning, he pulled off his pants and shirt, and exchanged them for a pair of pinstripe boxers. He hated wearing clothing to sleep in, but he was sharing a bed tonight so... he pulled on a white wife beater and climbed into the bed, closing his eyes and waiting for Steve to join him.

A few moments later he heard the ruffling of the sheets and then felt Steve's weight settle next to him, close enough that he could feel the heat radiating off the older man's body. As Steve climbed into bed, he tried to keep off his bad knee, and ended up pressing against Brendan for a moment, and Bren could feel he was shirtless, his heart began to thud and he swallowed dryly, curling in on himself a little bit. He nearly ached to roll over and take Steve. He could feel the older man's breath on the back of his neck, and he exhaled slowly, trying to calm his racing heart.

Steve shifted a bit, moving slightly closer to Brendan.

"Good Night." He murmured, sounding like he was on the verge to sleep. Brendan cleared his throat a little.

"Night Steve. Sleep well." And then there was silence, except for Steve's light sleeping breaths. Brendan shivered a little, wanting to roll over and see what Steve looked like asleep. He gave himself another ten minutes, to make sure Steve was asleep, then rolled over and gazed and the older man's face. To Brendan, it seemed flawless, thick eye lashes, fine eyebrows, medium skin... Before Brendan knew he was doing it, his hand reached up and touched Steve's silken skin, it felt just like he had imagined it, soft, almost velveteen. He watched Steve's face for a sign of waking at his touch, when the older man didn't move or even flutter his eye lids, Brendan leaned in, framing the beautiful face with his hand, and kissing Steve's soft and yielding lips for a total of three seconds, then he pulled away, his mouth and cheeks burning.

~Did I just do that? I didn't just do that... did I just do that?~ He asked himself, his eyes widening a little bit.

~What if he woke up when I did that?!~ His eyes flickered to Steve's, but the man's breathing was deep and slow, and his eyelids were racing about, he was dreaming. Brendan lay perfectly still, his heart-rate slowing down to it's normal pace.

~He's so close to me....~ he thought, reaching out and touching Steve's cheek one last time. How badly he wanted to take this man in his arms and feel his skin.

~Just not close enough for my comfort.~

Finis