You'll be my American Boy

[bhavna-grint.livejournal.com]

Title: Just... No.
Author: bhavna_grint
Pairing: Anders Eriksson/Andy Wozniewski (I'M SO SORRY ;_____; IT'S FOR LULZ, I SWEAR!)
Rating: PG-14, I guess?
Disclaimer: I would never, ever, own these boys, EVER.
Author's Notes: This is a very belated Bday fic for mah twisnay neekbreek. I really hope she doesn't hate me for this XDDD And thansk to so_fabelhaft for the beta! I'm sorry I had to put you through that XD



Andy's POV


I have no fucking clue how I found myself here. I was just visiting home in the off season, y'know, anticipating what moves that dumbass--I mean my GM was going to make. I didn't expect anything to be out of the ordinary...

Boy, was I ever wrong.

I was at a Cubs game when I got the news. I had been signed by St. Louis. Great... time to move again. Who knows? Maybe I would get more opportunity here because God knows I didn't get enough in Toronto. This shouldn't have been bugging me, but it was. I mean, I knew I had everything to look forward to in St. Louis, but Toronto had been my home for so long that I didn't know what I would do without that city. This was all too much to be thinking about at a hockey game, and there really was only one solution to this, albeit short-term--getting wasted.

As soon as the game ended, I ditched my friends--I really wanted to be alone--and took the bus, leaving my car in the parking lot, to the closest bar. I may be irresponsible in my defensive zone at times, but I don't endanger myself or anyone innocent. Barging into the bar, I headed straight for the counter and ordered 42oz-er of Coors Light all to myself. Nothing like my favourite brew to erase all my problems. The bartender raised his eye-brow.

"You sure about that, bud...?" he said, digging out the pitcher.

Judgemental asshole.

"Yes, I'm sure..." I said as sweetly as I could without coming across as an asshole. I needed my beer, and I needed it now.

With a nod, his eyebrows still raised, he poured my pitcher and made sure to leave a lot of head. There goes your tip, buddy. I took a glass and poured myself a glass. Mmmm... ice cold. I must have downed that thing in record time because before I knew it I was pouring another glass.

I have no idea how many glasses later, but I was about half-done my pitcher, the guy beside me started to speak.

"You are Toronto Maple Leaf, yes?" the blond said with an accent I knew all too well--Swedish. See, being in Toronto for so long got you used to two accents--Canadian and Swedish, and that man was most definitely Swedish. He looked familiar, but I didn't know where from. Then again, I was pretttttty buzzed, so he could have been an halucination alltogether. I just nodded and drained my glass. He pointed towards my pitcher. "Coors Light?" I nodded again. "May I have some...?" Oookay this was getting weird.

"Ummm... no offense, butwhothefuck are you??" I slured my words together. He half-smiled and laughed to himself.

"Anders Eriksson," he extended his arm. I went to shake it. So that's where I knew him from! He was a Flame! And to be honest he kinda looked like a... well a different kind of Flame. Since he was a hockey player, I didn't see the harm in letting him in on my pitcher--I could always get another one.

"Andy Woz--fuck I can't even say my own name..." I laughed and he joined in. Fuck, I really was drunk.

"Don't worry, I know who you are," he said, still eyeing my pitcher. I grabbed his glass and poured it for him.

"Well since y'know who I am, I see no problem in sharing," I said, passing the beer to him. He took a sip and smiled.

"I couldn't resist, Coors is my favourite!" Anders said as he took a giant sip of his beer. I didn't know Swedes like Coors. I thought it was just us dumbass Americans. I always remembered the looks I got in Canadian bars whenever I asked for this stuff. Man it felt good to be home. I grinned at him.

"It's your favourite, eh?" I asked, pouring myself and him another glass. "I didn't know you Swedes liked this stuff!"

"I'm not your everyday Swede... or at least not the kind that you'd get in Toronto..." he said, lowering his gaze. Um, what the fuck did he mean?

"Um... what?" I took a swig from my glass. He placed his hand on my thigh and moved it up. Normally I'd stop any cocksucker that'd dare to do that, but I was beyond any mental capacity to do that at the moment. 'Sides, it felt kinda good...

"I'm more..." he moved his hand higher on my thigh, coming dangerously close to certain forbidden areas. "...outside the box..." What the fuck kind of box did he live in?! He locked his eyes with mine and knew I was too drunk to stop him from whatever he was about to do. He realized this by utter deer look in my eyes. Grinning to himself, he got up and leaned into my ear. "Meet me in the washroom in five minutes..." he whispered as he walked towards the back of the bar.

I wasn't sure how I felt about this, but I was sure I was going to the washroom in five minutes...


___________________________________


Oh mannnn I had to stop it right there before I puked XD HAPPY BELATED, TWINSAY! XD

Comments

[neekbreek.livejournal.com]

JUST THE TITLE AND THE PAIRING HAS ME WTFING ALL OVER THIS BITCH. BRB READING NOW

[neekbreek.livejournal.com]

I AM ABSOLUTLY

100%

TRAUMATIZED RIGHT NOW






HAHAAHAHAHSHAHHFAHSGSJDFLC; oH MY GOD LMFAO

BRB WHEN I GATHER MY THOUGHTS

[bhavna-grint.livejournal.com]

*HIDES BEHIND TEH WOZ*



*THEN REALIZES IT'S TEH WOZ, EW*


*HIDES BEHIND A TREE*


I'M SORRY XD I'm glad you laughed though XD

[neekbreek.livejournal.com]

ok ok.

He placed his hand on my thigh and moved it up. *BARFS ALL OVER THE PLACE.

What the fuck kind of box did he live in?! BIG OL BOX OF FAIL.

hahaha OH MAN. I love you so much right now. This was HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! See, while most people get SRS FANFICTION, I get this. This is how I know I have the BEST FRIENDS EVER.

LMAO ILY

[bhavna-grint.livejournal.com]

I ALMOST BARFED ALL OVER THE PLACE WRITING THIS! JUST...NO :@ XDDDD


Yes, a GIANT Box o'fail.


LMAO THANK YOU!!!! I wrote it just for your lulz. Srs.

ILY!!!

[skye-chan14.livejournal.com]

God I can't even touch it. Anders Eriksson sends me screaming into the night. *shudders at rememberances of him on the Jackets...*

[bhavna-grint.livejournal.com]

Told you it was the worst ever! XD Those two give me nightmares. XD

[skye-chan14.livejournal.com]

*curled in a ball and rocking, runs off to the images of Flower and Jose and hot wax...*

[bhavna-grint.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry! ;________________________;


Anders was a Leaf too *shudders* SO MUCH FAIL!

[skye-chan14.livejournal.com]

God he was just...Argh. (Although not as much fail as Concussion McConcussionsten aka Duvie Westcott...)

[bhavna-grint.livejournal.com]

Oh God, he was fail, wasn't he?

And no one can compare to the fail that is Andy Wozniewski though XD have you SEEN him play? XDDD Swiss Cheese is a better D man. And Swiss cheese doesn't talk to itself.

[skye-chan14.livejournal.com]

XD Swiss cheese and a sieve combined would be better? XD

[bhavna-grint.livejournal.com]

You guessed it! XD His gf is nice though XD

[skye-chan14.livejournal.com]

XD That is always a plus. I mean, look at Souray and Angelica! *ducks and runs* Though that's one sandwich I wouldn't mind getting in. And Souray's not a bad player, he's just sort of made of glass lately. XD

[bhavna-grint.livejournal.com]

LOL! I've heard about that sammich from Drea many times XDDD and yes, Shell's made of glass :( Just like Cola :((((((((

[skye-chan14.livejournal.com]

I'm still waiting to see how those daughters of his turn out. XD In a non-creepy-pedophiley way, I promise. They're just going to be gorgeous kids. XD

[bhavna-grint.livejournal.com]

Oh they are! Just hope they're not a Shiloh Jolie-Pitt! XDDD

[skye-chan14.livejournal.com]

XD Or a damn Suri Cruise.

[bhavna-grint.livejournal.com]

Oh god, the horror XD At least Suri's cute? XD

[skye-chan14.livejournal.com]

XD Suri is fucking adorable, shame about her crazy ass dad though. (Have you ever noticed though, you never see Suri smile? ;-;)

[bhavna-grint.livejournal.com]

OMG that's true! Wtf, Celeb parents. WTF, indeed.

[skye-chan14.livejournal.com]

A customer pointed that out to me one day and I was like holy shit, it's so true, she always looks so unhappy. ;-;

[bhavna-grint.livejournal.com]

It is true... :( There was maybe one or two pics of her happy??

[skye-chan14.livejournal.com]

I hope so, idk if I've ever seen any ;-;

I need an icon of a player with a bb XD Instead you get Henrik and Emma XD

[bhavna-grint.livejournal.com]

They're a lovely couple XD

And I have many-a-pictures of my boys with their kids. SO CUTE.

[skye-chan14.livejournal.com]

I adorreeeeee Henrik and Emma. XD Like, seriously, favourite hockey couple EVAR (aside from the ever obvious Henrik and Emma XD).

I knooow, players with kids is just waaaaaay too much cute to be had in the world.

[bhavna-grint.livejournal.com]

Really? I think you forgot Henrik and Emma XD

SERIOUSLY! Darcy and Hal and Wade and Boyd all brought their bbs to the Skills Comp this year and it was just an explosion of cute! ♥

[skye-chan14.livejournal.com]

...Sometimes I don't read and type at the same time, it was supposed to say Henrik and Pavel. XD

[bhavna-grint.livejournal.com]

Hahaha no worries, it was still funny XD My favourite couple has to be... well I don't know XD Oh wait, I do XDD Darcy and Shannon Tucker. They're the most adorable couple EVER.

[skye-chan14.livejournal.com]

I have the worst trouble with typing, talking, and reading all at the same time. XD I just can't do it.

XD Darcy is cute in general, so it works, I think. XD

[bhavna-grint.livejournal.com]

LOL It works most of the time for me XDD

OMG HE IS SO CUTE WITH HIS KIDS, OMG. I can't even describe it to you XDDD

[skye-chan14.livejournal.com]

XD I jsut can't string the three together, apparently. Or not at 3 AM anyways. Rat is also distracting.

Awww really? XD Cuuuute ♥

[littlestclouds.livejournal.com]

dot dot dot

ANDERS ERIKSSON?

dot dot dot

You have broken my brain with Anders Eriksson.

Maybe I should read it now. LOL.

[bhavna-grint.livejournal.com]

LOL! I'm sorry! I broke my own brain writing this XDD

[jess-the1.livejournal.com]

......*brusts into laughter*

That was diffenetly different.;)

[bhavna-grint.livejournal.com]

XD Thanks! I was aiming for different XD

[phantom-19.livejournal.com]

OH MY GOD, I read it this morning and I had to read it again because it was so funny in a strange, scary sort of way.

Good job, something different then what I'm use to reading.

[bhavna-grint.livejournal.com]

hahaha Thanks! It was written purely for teh lulz XD

[themagnetsmile.livejournal.com]

OMFG LOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

XD THAT WAS SHEER GENIUS WIFEY! AND I APPLAUD YOU FOR NOT PUKING.

ROFLSPROUTS

[bhavna-grint.livejournal.com]

HAHAHA THANKS WIFEY! It was hard not to! I wanted to so bad XDDDD

[jadedragon-84.livejournal.com]

i am of the this is hilarious group! anders eriksson, not my fav, but he doesn't creep my out. i thought this was funny, totally WTF! but greatnessindeed!

[bhavna-grint.livejournal.com]

LOL! THANKS! I was aiming for that reaction! :D ♥