I sometimes see comms that are locked that I do think are dead. I dont think everyone looks for the last updated date. But yes I know there are ways around it that we can show that the comm is alive.

I've been in fandom quite a while (although not as much as 20+ years) and I have friended on this journal (which my friends know about.. not sure about my family but I dont think any are on livejournal) many "questionable" comms that they would find weird or wrong.

I don't believe we should publicly out people (There is no reason to). But like I said to the commenter above if someone is having a real problem with keeping their identity safe from family/friends and wants to continue posting this content, they should really get an anonymous account and post. That way people can still remain happy and I think it'll keep their identities safe.