Date: 2008-04-03 12:09 am (UTC)
First off, thanks for reading, commenting, and the concrit!
Two things from me:
1) I mentioned in my header that it's from Cheech's POV, but I can see how it would be confusing without knowing that. I've been known to miss catching who the narrator is before too, so I surely can't hold that against you. In any case, it's nice to know that the narrator isn't clear off the bat. I'll keep that in mind.
2) I agree whole-heartedly with it being choppy. Certainly not my best write. It was written in (very) short bursts so that probably contributed to that. I'll take a gander at the next two parts and see if any changes can be made to make it flow better (or at all ^.^).
Thanks again for your comments. I'm always glad to hear people out. :)
This account has disabled anonymous posting.
If you don't have an account you can create one now.
HTML doesn't work in the subject.
More info about formatting

Profile

2minsforslashing: (Default)
Into the penalty box!

November 2019

S M T W T F S
     12
3456789
10111213141516
17181920212223
24252627282930

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Jul. 20th, 2025 02:01 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios