Oops... sorry, I mean formatting as in commas, punctuation...
look here:
"Have a heart attack!!(use only one exclamation point)" Nate laughed. Teddy got up off the bed and stood there staring at Nate for a second before speaking.
"I'm glad you enjoyed it, my love. I'm going to jump in the shower(needs a comma between shower and the quotation marks)" Teddy said while walking towards the bathroom, smiling.
"What about you?" Nate asked, referring to the fact that while he was very satisfied, Teddy had not gotten the same thing out of the encounter.
"I'd rather wait until we get home tonight. I want the thrill of anticipating it all night long.(this should be a comma after "long", not a period)" Teddy said standing in the bathroom doorway, smiling.
It's tiny things that take the reader's eye away from the plot, the adorable-ness of your two characters. That was my suggestion - because the rest of the story is so damn cute! :)
no subject
look here:
"Have a heart attack!!(use only one exclamation point)" Nate laughed. Teddy got up off the bed and stood there staring at Nate for a second before speaking.
"I'm glad you enjoyed it, my love. I'm going to jump in the shower(needs a comma between shower and the quotation marks)" Teddy said while walking towards the bathroom, smiling.
"What about you?" Nate asked, referring to the fact that while he was very satisfied, Teddy had not gotten the same thing out of the encounter.
"I'd rather wait until we get home tonight. I want the thrill of anticipating it all night long.(this should be a comma after "long", not a period)" Teddy said standing in the bathroom doorway, smiling.
It's tiny things that take the reader's eye away from the plot, the adorable-ness of your two characters. That was my suggestion - because the rest of the story is so damn cute! :)